Press 1 if you hate phone trees

Man, I’ve had enough of computerized answering services. I don’t like walking through a number of questions where I have to punch a number on the keypad. I want to talk to a person.

I wanted to pay my American Express bill so I called them direct. After repeatedly smashing the # key, I was transferred to an operator. When I informed him that I wanted to make a payment he transferred me to a woman to help me. When I informed her that I wanted to pay my bill, she gave me the number I originally called and told me about the pay by phone option. I told her no, that I didn’t want to pay by phone and wanted to work with a human. She seemed surprised that I wasn’t willing to do this.

I love computers. I’ve loved them since I was a kid. But I don’t want to conduct business with one. I like the comfort of talking with someone with words other than “yes” or “no.” Maybe it’s my age, but I don’t figure I’m too damn old at 38. I figure it’s the right of anyone willing to hand over hard earned money to get to talk with someone.

With that being said, I am also sick and tired of dealing with customer service agents who barely speak English. Companies are farming out this service to India as a cost savings method. Unfortunately, this has been done at the expense of customer service. I don’t have a problem with anyone from India. It’s a great country and I am very impressed with what they do. However, I would like to speak with someone who understands the things I say and someone I can understand. The language barrier makes things tougher when trying to resolve an issue.

I long for the days not so long ago when you called and somebody answered, “Good morning, XYZ Corporation.” I wonder how long it will take to get back to those days.

Shout It Out Loud!

When I was growing up, I was a fan of KISS. I think I was in the third grade when my best friend, Steve Monroe, introduced me to them. His older brother had Love Gun on 8-Track and we would listen to it in his room.

I idolized Star Child (Paul Stanley), Space Ace (Ace Frehley), the Cat (Peter Criss) and the Demon (Gene Simmons).

At Easter, I remember making KISS Easter eggs with Steve and bringing them home to my mom and dad who were less then impressed.

When I got into junior high school, I remember KISS taking on a more sinister image due to the church we were attending. I had read a book, either at the church’s urging or my parent's, about Satanism in rock and roll. The book freaked me out and convinced me that KISS really stood for Knights in Satan’s Service.

During high school, my friend Derek Etten brought me back into the KISS fold. He was really into them. This was the period of time when KISS abandoned their make-up and changed a couple of members. I was more into Oingo Boingo and Van Halen at this time, so KISS was really a second tier band for me.

In the late 90s, the original KISS group reunited for a tour and an album. I started following them again and was disappointed I couldn’t make one of their concerts. This is the only band I’ve regretted not getting a chance to see.

Last year, I stumbled across Gene Simmons Family Jewels, a reality show on A&E about the KISS bassist and his family. The program showed the Demon as a boisterous businessman devoted to his family. I started becoming more interested in KISS yet again.

I picked up a copy of Sex Money Kiss, Gene Simmons' “self-help” (loosely used) book covering everything from business to marriage. Simmons is a huge proponent of not getting married, as it is fundamentally a giant screw against men. I roared when I read the chapter. I loaned the book to a female KISS fan in the office. She didn’t think the marriage chapter was as funny as I did.

Anyway, I really enjoyed Simmons’ writing style so I ordered his biography, KISS and Make-up. It took me only a few days to read it and I felt like I was a kid again. It was interesting to get the inside scoop on things that I remembered clearly. Love Gun, Destroyer, the Marvel Comics Super Special comic book and the movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.

He’s neither a drinker nor a partier, but chased skirts with a passion. Some of his stories were so outrageous they could only be true.

I also liked Gene’s honesty regarding the business of rock and roll. He talked about the tremendous marketing plan that is KISS as well as his side businesses.

The whole book was fascinating and I would readily recommend it to any fan of KISS.

After finishing the book, I pulled out my Marvel Comics Super Special KISS comic book and reread it.

What a fan boy!

Nerd Love

I love my iMac.

I have abandoned all hope that a PC will ever make me happy.

And since I’ve switched, I’m a nerd for those funny commercials with the two actors portraying a Mac and a PC.

Check them out here.

http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/

Don’t Get Mad. Get Fuzzy.

I’ve found a new way to deal with rough days. It doesn’t have to do with booze or twenty-something blondes, although a combination of those wouldn’t hurt!

Anyway, I’m talking about the newspaper comic strip, Get Fuzzy.

I started reading the strip in the Spokesman-Review and remembered just how weird and crazy it was. It consistently made me laugh out loud.

While at a bookstore, I found five books collecting this strip on the markdown table. I snatched up a copy of each and took them back to my apartment.

I’ll pull them out after work and read a couple of strips and laugh. It's a nice way to clear the cobwebs of corporate crap from my mind. (A little alliteration never hurts)

The strip focuses on Rob Wilco, a single guy with two pets: Bucky, a cat with goals of world domination; and Satchel, a loveable, yet naive dog with goals of eating something yummy.

Bucky and Satchel can talk and they put poor Rob through some pretty hilarious situations.

I’ve read all the books now that I bought and need bite the bullet and buy the remaining collections. I love Get Fuzzy the way I use to love Calvin and Hobbes. They are by far, the two best newspaper comic strips I’ve ever seen.