My Dad is Dirk Diggler

I recently found something that has turned my life upside down. I now know why I am the way I am. It took only a single picture to point it out to me.

My dad was a porn star.

Yup, you heard me. The old man was Wapakoneta, Ohio's version of Dirk Diggler (Boogie Nights, for those of you out of the loop).

Check him out.

He's the one in the white leisure suit.

He's with a whole crew of porn stars known as "The Jaycees." Man, these guys rocked the 'stache! The combination of a big bushy mustache and a leisure suit was the '70s uniform of a budding porn star.

He was the "internal director". Man, the guy was dirty!

This gang was obviously a force to be reckoned with. I'm sure that there were mothers and fathers in Auglaize county who would lock up their daughters when the Jaycees rolled into town.

How did the local cops not know what this crew was up to? Look at those guys. They were obviously freaks.

I'm afraid to now learn about coked-out, key parties he went to in the 70s. Or the disco parties he danced the "Hustle" at.

My old man hasn't smiled like that since, well, since he moved back to Ohio. I can't say more because I don't want to embarrass his girl, Cheryl.

Crap, my dad has "a girl". My dad is getting action again. He hasn't stopped his dirty ways.

And here I thought my dad was a honest joe who repressed his sexuality with archaic values. What a dolt, I was. The old man was a playa before I even knew what a playa was!

All I can say is "Playa play on!"