The Way of the Con

Reflections on Pop Culture - 2011

2012-01-01T21:53:00.001-08:00

Another year has come to an end which means another blog post on this incredibly informative site for all things in the popular culture. Without further ado, let's get started.

MOVIES

I'm excited to say that It was a great year for comic book movies!

Captain America ruled them all. The First Avenger was perfect. The story was solid, the action and special effects were top notch, and the character was true to the co

mic book. At the end of the movie was a preview for the new Avengers movie which looked awesome! The last ten years have been a great time to be alive as a comic book fanboy.

Thor also came to the big screen this year and was a fantastic flick. I was never a big fan of the Thor comics, but the movie was a blast and well worth the trip

to the movie theater.

I also enjoyed X-Men: First Class. The throw back to a young team was fun and interesting although the story was a bit soft for me. Howeve

r, the action and effects made up for any weakness in the plot.

A couple "Green" movies made it to the silver screen. Both Green Lantern and The Green Hornet failed to deliver the goods. I've watched both and will probably watch them again, however, that's completely due to my fanboy status. Remember, I'm the guy who likes all three Punisher movies. Anyway, the "Green" movies were both solid "C's".

Two non-comic movies that made my favorite list were the comedies Hall Pass and Horrible Bosses.

These two movies were amazin

gly funny and hade me laughing so hard that I have to put them up there with The Hangover, arguably the funniest movie I've ever seen. Jennifer Aniston is the hottest Horrible Boss you could ever imagine and I will never forget the Hall Pass scene wherein a sneeze relieves a terrible stomach ache. Just thinking about it makes me want to watch both of them again.

TELEVISION

I didn't do much TV watching this year. However, I did manage to get into watching various shows on DVD this year.

First of all, a big shout out to The Shield again. I ran through the entire seven seasons and was again completely blown away with how amazing the show was. It continues to remain my favorite television show of all time.

On to the new stuff...

Sons of Anarchy - My uncle, Scott, turned me on to this show. FX, the network responsible for the The Shield, puts out Sons so I'm not sure why i didn't jump on this faster. It's about an outlaw motorcycle gang and the surrounding drama of their lives. It friggin' blew me away. I raced through the first three seasons and am now champing at the bit to see the fourth.

The first season of The Glades was a

blast. It's about an out-of-water Chicago detective now living and working in sunny Florida. The show has some goofy set-ups with the main character runny around with the coroner as a partner, but any weakness is

more than made up with the likeability of the characters and their fast-paced dialogue.

Californication knocked my socks off. David Duchovny s

tars as Hank Moody, a writer who continues to screw up his life as he tries, unsuccessfully, to reconnect with his "wife" and daughter. It's the first show where I really understand the complete screwed-up nature of a character. When I talk with others about the show, they say Hank is an idiot and they wonder how he can continue to make poor de

cisions when he is obviously a smart man. That comment alone makes me feel they have no clue what it's like to know the stove is h

ot, but you put your hand on it anyway. For those of us who continue to walk into the wall, Hank Moody is our character.

Unfortunately, it only made two seasons, but The Hard Times of RJ Berger was one of the funniest shows on television for the past two years. It's the best thing MTV has done since they abandoned the "music". It's about a well-endowed nerd struggling through high school. The cast of characters were incredibly funny and the dialogue snapped, crackled and popped. Who didn't love the coach's statement regarding "the swamp funk of a grown man's taint"?

Ok, here's one from the reality side of thing s. HGTV's Income Property is fantastic. While I dig HGTV in general, it was really cool to see them finally add in a show that focused on the idea of cash flow with property instead of house flipping which focuses only on the appreciation side of things.

There was one television show that stood out this year. Fox's New Girl was the funniest new show I've seen since The Big Bang Theory. I guess there's something about quirky girls I find appealing.

As a follow up to last year's blog pos

t, four of my favorites were can

celled. The Human Target, Lie to Me, The Defenders and No Ordinary Family all were pulled due to low ratings. Yet they continue to pump out the lamest reality shows a person can imagine. That's an idea for a letter blog list ...

BOOKS

The man is back! Or should I say, the men are back! Lawrence Block returned with a new Matt Scudder novel this year. A Drop of the Hard Stuff takes Scudder back to his earlier years. The plot is super tight and the writing is crisp and utterly enjoyable. It's good to see the master back!

I ran across a couple of previously published books that I really enjoyed. Elmore Leonard's Stick was a great read and Alan Watt's Diamond Dogs flat out knocked me out of my chair. if you get a chance to read either of these books, give them a go.

Sammy Hagar's Red was a fun read. I've always been a big fan of The Red Rocker, but I also dig the fact that Hagar's a businessman with his Cabo Wabo tequila and clubs. It was also a fascinating look into Van Halen as well.

MUSIC

It was a good year for new metal, or at least new metal to me.

First of all, the panther is back! Steel Panther released Balls Out in October and it stayed in my car until I knew every song by heart. With 17 Girls in a Row and Gold Digging Whore on the disc, I'm sure it's going to stay in heavy rotation in both my car and iPod. Also, it is easily the best album cover in years!

Theory of a Deadman's The Truth Is... Was a solid disc.

Favorite songs were Villain and Gentlemen. There were a few misses on the disc but overall it rocked.

My buddy, Steve, turned me on to Theory as well as the amazing Boba Flex and their album Hell in My Heart. The song Bury Me with My Guns On is a great tune! I played that song over probably 5 times before moving on to the other songs on the album. Highly recommend this album to any metal heads.

Chickenfoot released III and is a great sophomore album. The songs

Bigfoot, Last Temptation and Up Next are my favorites, but the whole albums worth listening to over and over.

Nickelback released Here and Now this year. Bottoms Up and Kiss it Goodbye are great tracks. There always tends to be one or two too many ballads on a Nickelback CD, however, it's still worth the purchase. Good solid rock.

VIDEO GAMES

Steve got me hooked on Dead Nation, the best PS3 video game I've ever played. Don't get me wrong, I'm and X-Box guy so my exposure to the PS3 is limited to Steve's library, but the game is a blast and highly addictive. Zombie killing has never been so much fun.

TECHNOLOGY

I joined the iPad revolution this summer and I've go to admit I'm becoming more and more hooked on this tablet. I keep learning about new things I can do with it. And as a small tribute to Steve Jobs, I'm blogging this year's pop culture post on my iPad. Typing is a little slow compared to using my iMac, but it's more comfortable leaning back in a chair as i time travel back over the past year.

Well, that's it for this year. Stick a fork in 2011. It's done.

Blog post

2011-09-23T18:22:00.001-07:00

Another blog post? You may ask, why the hell am I writing something so soon after the last post when it's clearly not had enough time to settle down into the fine silt that is the Internet muck. It's only been five months so i must really have something to say.

I don't. That's the sad part. I mean, there was surely something along the way that I could have spouted off on. There are always enough fools, funny moments and my never-ending disbelief in the TSA's complete ineptitude coupled with our society's willingness to trade liberty for the perception of safety.

But, alas, I missed those opportunities. However, I'm old enough to know that there will be always be more opportunities.

So, what am I writing now? I don't have any clue. I'm just taping the keys and hoping for inspiration.

And I'm a little light in inspiration right now. So, I'm just going count this as a win, post it and move on.

Maybe that's the lesson for today.

Random Thoughts on Air Travel

2011-03-26T10:37:00.001-07:00

Why are there always idiots on the plane who jump up and run for the restroom as soon as the captain says it's ok to get out of their seats? -- We've been on the plane for ten minutes, people. You've either got the smallest bladders in history or you're not smart enough to go before getting on the plane. Either way, you're proving Darwin wrong.

You're not important enough to delay our flight because of your cell phone call. - - When the flight crew tells you to turn off your phone, do it. When you don't, you prove to us that you're the self-centered bastard we thought you were.

You are not that important that you have to immediately make a phone call when we land. -- Your sixteen year old boyfriend doesn't need to know that oh my gawd, that flight was so long and your best bud doesn't need to know that you're finally on the ground and ready to party.

Learn what carry on luggage is, you incredibly selfish, stupid bastards. -- Do I really need to explain this? Carry-on implies small, easily portable items. If you have to drag it behind you - fail! If you need help lifting it into the overhead bin - fail! If you have to tuck it under the seat in front of me, thereby blocking my feet from resting comfortably - fail!

The Traffic Safety Administration (TSA) once again, proves they are fucking morons. Little old ladies and mothers with children are not terrorists. Quit pulling them aside to pat them down. You are retards. Learn to criminally profile and do your fucking job. Don't just stand there, breathing through your mouth. Think. There's a reason you're not a cop. You are a glorified mall security guard. You are a placebo for the masses. Get over yourself.

Just because the airline seated you next to me doesn't mean we are friends. -- Shut the hell up. I don't care where you're going and I don't want to share anything about myself. I just want to be quiet and try to ignore the fact that I can smell the breakfast you ate earlier on your breath.

Dress like you're in public. -- Air travel used to cause people to dress up because it was special. I'm not asking you to wear a tie or a dress, but pajamas tell the world you just woke up, didn't shower, and were too lazy to change into something else. This goes for beautiful young girls, too. When your hair is a mess and you're wearing pajamas with Ugg boots, you look like a ragamuffin.

If you're interested in what I'm typing on my phone, read my blog at thewayofthecon.com. -- Awkward? I don't feel guilty for embarrassing you because you don't know the concept of privacy.

It's nice to see a pretty stewardess every now and then. -- Men and elderly women need jobs as much as anyone, but let's finally be honest. We're all crammed into this long metal tube, several thousand miles in the air, going hundreds of miles per hour. A beautiful girl with a nice smile can give us a lot more peace than the overly perky steward, Trevor.

Done and out.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Kids in America

2011-03-26T10:34:00.001-07:00

I'm on a flight to Ohio to visit my dad and I plugged my headphones in to the airplane's in-flight music channels to ignore the chatty woman next to me. With great satisfaction, I discovered United has a New Wave channel.

The first song I heard was Oingo Boingo's Only A Lad. My buddy, Steve Flock, turned me on to them. I actually smiled thinking of Steve and our time at Shadle Park High School. I've never told you this, but you've had a huge impact on my life, bud. I really love you like a brother.

The next song was Peter Gabriel's Shock the Monkey. I remember loving that song in school. I have no idea what the song really is about, I' ve just always dug the chorus.

Kids in America by Kim Wilde came on next and got me thinking which lead to this mobile blog post.

What happens when you realize you're no longer young?

I'm 42 this year. I still feel mentally young. I often feel the same way about ideas and things just like I did when I was 18. Is that normal?

"Save me from tomorrow" is a lyric in the INXS song Ship of Fools that's in my ears right now. I understand that feeling now.

I see people on television who are listed as 40 and I think "Damn, they look old." It shocks me when that thought invades my brain.

I want to scream at the world, "My hair may be grey but I'm not fucking old!"

But I realize my knee hurts from a minor ski accident I had in January. The latest doctor visit revealed I now have high cholesterol.

My daughter is 19 and full of youthful innocence and vibrance and thinks she has the world figured out. I had dinner with her last night and wondered if I was ever so bright and shiny.

Of course, I was like that. And the New Wave music proves it. I listen to 80's hair metal all the time. Due to that it never makes me feel really young. Rock is the soundtrack of my life, but New Wave is the sound of my youth.

42 isn't old, but it's not really young either.

So, I'm going to close my eyes for a bit and continue to listen to New Wave and imagine life is still shiny and new.

By the way, If You Leave by OMD is playing now.

Come join me in the 80's.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Computer ramblings from a 42 year old curmudgeon

2011-02-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

Recently, I finished reading iWoz by Steve Wozniak, one of the co-founders of Apple. Wozniak designed the original Apple computer and the super popular Apple II. His tales of growing up in the early days of computing and designing the Apple were mesmerizing.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I’ve been lucky to witness the computer revolution through the eyes of child. I’ve always had a fascination with the hackers and computer geniuses of this world. When I was younger, I kept articles of hackers, reading and rereading them like they were rock stars. Unfortunately, as I got older, I dumped all those articles in one of my many moves to grow up. I wish I still had them.

The first computer I came into contact with was the Vic-20 from Commodore. In my eyes this computer held the keys to a new world. I was in the seventh grade when my folks brought it home. I immediately feel in love with it. None of my friends at school had a computer so it was like talking a foreign language with them. However, Stacy Blackman, a kid from church, had a Vic-20 and we hit it off. We were soon hanging out together on the weekends and writing programs in BASIC. We spent time reading Compute! magazine, learning new routines and tricks. Our favorite programs were little security routines to stop others from using our cassette tape menu programs. Looking back it was a ridiculous thing to write, but we had a ball doing it.

The second computer my folks brought home was a Timex Sinclair, a small computer with a membrane keyboard. I think they got it for sitting through a timeshare presentation. This computer was horrible and I just couldn’t understand why I’d spend any time with it. It couldn’t stand next to my Vic-20.

At the start of my sophmore year, we moved to the north side of Spokane. This meant a new school district, a new school (Shadle Park) and the struggle to meet new friends. That year, I got a job at Albertsons and the first couple of paychecks I received went to a Commodore 64. My dad drove me to the house of a guy who had put an ad in the paper selling his computer. Dad thought it was all very shady and looking back he was probably right. Regardless, I bought this amazing computer, disk drive and programs for $150. (As a side note, I still have that C-64 to this day).

The Commodore 64 opened up a new world. Two of my new friends, Steve Flock and Derek Etten were also Commodore 64 users. Derek was like me, really committed to the 64. Steve, who has been my best and longest friend in life, was a bit whorish with his computer love. He tried them all including Tandy’s Color Computer, the Apple II and the TI 99, to name a few.

Anyway, here we were with these computers, playing games, learning to write BASIC programs and exploring Bulletin Board Systems (think of it is a kind of pre-cursor to the Internet). We could talk with people throughout the world on a BBS through a type of e-mail system. If you were lucky, you could talk with the Sysop (system operator) if he was on-line.

For some silly reason, Steve and I would call each other’s computer directly. This would allow us to have “live” conversations via text. Kind of a single point-to-point Instant Messaging. It would have been easier to pick up the phone and talk directly, but that wouldn’t have been nearly as cool as typing text to each other.

I was always in awe of Steve. He was, and is to this day, heads and shoulders above most people when it comes to technology. Back in school, he would tear the computers apart to look inside. I was always afraid to do that. He switched systems constantly to learn new things. He was the guy in our group who could really hack into something. His brain made him cool.

Speaking of hacking, I made a WarGames dialer, a computer program modeled after my favorite movie which called phone numbers sequentially until it found a computer tone. Unfortunately, that’s as far as I ever got. I could never figure out how to actually get into a system and I was afraid to get caught by my parents for leaving the dialer working all day or night. Therefore, the WarGames dialer worked in theory but never in application.

I never completely gave myself to computing as I wanted a girlfriend at this time so my head was often elsewhere. That was a running theme through my youth.

The majority of kids at school didn’t have computers at home. There were Apple IIs in the computer lab, but only a few of us were lucky enough to get in that class. Unfortunately, being in a computer class labeled you as a bit of a nerd which was hard on the social front.

Regardless, computers were a huge part of my life in junior high and high school for the worlds they allowed me to explore. Often those worlds were only inside my machine, but it was still a marvelous place to visit growing up.

Now, I’m 42 and I no longer have the wonder and excitement over technology. Unfortunately, I don’t believe the majority of children growing up in this period do either. Those born in the 90s have only really known computers in their current forms. Graphic user interfaces (GUI) like Windows and Mac OS have remained basically consistent for the past two decades. They have some really slick upgrades with every new release, but the underlying principal is the same.

The iPod is an awesome invention and I treasure mine, but it really didn’t change the way we listened to music. It was the best invention since the Walkman for portable music, bar none. However, the basic principle was already in place.

The iPhone is really a slick “smart phone” and there were other smart phones before and still are. In fact, my Samsung Vibrant is amazing. However, at the core it’s a cell phone and a Palm Pilot. Items we’ve seen around since the 90s.

I’m not hating on Apple’s iPod or iPhone. I’m using their popularity to show a point. Technology has become so common place that certain items are now purchased based more on their status than their need. Just like people go to Starbucks for that little white cup because everyone else does, people run to the iPod or iPhone because it’s what the hipsters buy. It’s better to wear the white headphones of an iPod than the black headphones of a competitor. It’s like wearing the appropriate type of jeans.

Also, there’s not much interest in the hardware anymore, it’s about the applications or programs. Games are hyper realistic and there’s no point of reference for the younger generation to appreciate how great computers and technology really is today.

And that’s where I’m disappointed. We loved computers growing up because of what they meant. We were experiencing something new and foreign. Something few others would ever try. We were misunderstood for it and sometimes mocked for it, but we did it nonetheless. Being cool had nothing to do with technology.

There you go. I’ve finally turned into that curmudgeonly old man on the street corner yelling at the youth because they don’t know how good they’ve got it. But they don’t care so why should I? Their world is about them and I don’t like them.

That’s it. I’m checking out. I’m going to hook up that Commodore 64, put on some Oingo Boingo and pretend it’s 1984 again.

Bah!

Same site, new editor, new problems

2011-01-08T09:52:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure anyone noticed, but my main site, The Way of the Con, was down for a few days. I switched from my old software platform of Microsoft FrontPage to Apple's iWeb. This caused a lot of heart burn as I had to troubleshoot the problem.

I finally figured it out this morning and the site is back up and running. I'm not completely happy with the url layout, but that's more my issue than a functionality issue.

Anyway, thanks for checking-in.

Over-hyped Bird

2011-01-02T07:55:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the critics make no sense.

There is Oscar buzz for the movie, Black Swan, with almost unanimously positive reviews. It's being touted as a psychological sexual thriller.

With two beautiful stars, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis, how could I not want to see this movie?

I started the movie with high hopes but when the end credits rolled I felt ripped off.

The melodrama was over-done, the psychological aspects of the film were simple at best and the sexual aspects of the movie were tame. There was more sexuality in Top Gun, a movie 25 years old.

This movie was perfectly designed for pretentious idiots. It wasn't scary, thought-provoking or titillating. The plotting was simple and every move was telegraphed. The folks who are gushing over this are the same folks who sit around a table gushing about a bottle of wine for an hour.

I was yawning 30 minutes into the movie. Walking out of the theater later, I felt I'd just lost 2 hours of my life.

I won't give away the story or the goofy ending which wasn't surprising to anyone who understands symbolism.

If you still feel the need to see the film, good luck. I hope you enjoy it as much as the critics.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Reflections on Pop Culture - 2010

2010-12-31T10:47:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago, I finished the year by listing my favorite things of the previous 365 days. I recently checked out that post and enjoyed the trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, I didn’t do the same thing in 2009 so there’s a hole now in my blog.

However, I try to learn from my mistakes, so here are my favorite pop culture memories from 2010.

MUSIC

I’ve long been a fan of 80s hair metal and it was nice to see some recent discs by acts from that period.

The Scorpions - Sting in the Tail (2010) – Solid disc, but a few more ballads than I like. Slave Me is the best track. A nice reminder of why I dug them so much while in the Army.

Dokken – Lightening Strikes Again (2008) – Okay, so the album didn’t come out this year, butthat’s when I discovered it. Put simply, it’s friggin’ awesome! The band sounds like they did in their prime. My favorite tracks were Give Me a Reason, Heart to Stone, and This Fire. I ran this disc continually for weeks.

Vince Neil - Tattoos & Tequila (2010) – Motley Crue’s front man stepped out on his own with an original track and several covers. All of the songs were well done with my favorites being the title track and the cover of Long Cool Woman (in a Black Dress).

Steel Panther – Feel the Steel (2009) – First of all, thanks to my friend, Scott Simmons, for turning me on to these guys. They’re a heavy metal group that parodies the hair bands of the 80s. Their music is extremely solid with some of the wackiest and dirtiest lyrics ever. My favorite song on the album was Shocker. Yeah, it’s about that. If you’re easily offended, stay away.

Besides these discs, I put a lot of my favorites back into rotation including healthy doses of Sammy Hagar and Van Halen. Good stuff.

TELEVISION

What a great year for television shows. After losing The Shield, my favorites were limited to a few situationcomedies, Castle and Lie To Me. This year a number of new shows caught my eye and I’ve enjoyed watching television dramas again.

As a side note, the DVR is a great addition to enjoying television. I don’t have to be a slave to the television schedule to catch my favorites.

Blue Bloods (CBS) – Tom Selleck is back! This is what a cop show on a major network should looklike. I was never really a fan of NYPD Blues or any of the Law and Order creations so I was skeptical I could get into Blue Bloods. It’s far above my expectations. So much so that I actually will watch this before almost any of my other recorded favorites.

Wallander (BBC on PBS) – Outstanding drama based on the books of Henning Mankell. Kenneth Branagh plays the title character. These are amazing stories but the series is limited to three 90-minute episodes each season. I haven’t read the books (yet) or seen the Swedish movies of the same (also yet). Hopefully, they’ll be as good as this BBC series.

Lie to Me (FOX) – Continues to be a favorite. The premise of the show is a bit thin, but the characters are enjoyable and the acting of Tim Roth is top notch.

Castle (ABC) – A returning favorite and also a premise that is a bit unbelievable. The series focuses on Rick Castle, a mystery writer who through a friendship with the mayor is allowed to shadow a beautiful NYC detective. The show is mostly fun and breezy.

Human Target (FOX) – Based on the DC comic of the same name, the show is a blast of fun every time. It’s a bit softer this season with the addition of a couple female characters, but Mark Valley is a stud and Jackie Earle Haley is awesome as Guerrero. This is what action television should be.

No Ordinary Family (ABC) – A series about a family with super powers? Okay, I’ll be interested. Throw in Michael Chiklis of The Shield as the father? Count me in. The show is a lot of fun and reminds me why I liked comic books so much. I will admit, it was initially hard for me to transition from Chiklis as Vic Mackey to him as the nice guy Jim Powell. However, once I let go of my Vic Mackey memories, the show became really enjoyable.

The Defenders (CBS) – Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell are awesome as two Las Vegas defense attorneys. The characters play off each other nicely and both actors are fun to watch. The only negative is that the episodes (and cases) wrap up neatly each week. Sometimes, though, that’s not such a bad thing.

Modern Family (ABC) – Okay, I will admit, I didn’t get into this show until a month or two ago. I’d heard some folks talking about it, but I largely ignored it. What a mistake! It’s got the best comedic writing since Arrested Development. Guaranteed to make me laugh.

MOVIES

The Girl ... - ... with the Dragon Tattoo, … Who Played With Fire, … Who Kicked the Hornets Nest. This Swedish series was amazing. Michael Nyqvist as Mikael Blomkvist and Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander were amazing. Don’t be a wimp and say you won’t watch them because they are subtitled. These are excellent flicks and available on DVD or On Demand.

I’m disappointed that Hollywood is involved now as remakes are underway with Daniel Craig as Mikael Blomkvist. He’s a great actor, but why does Hollywood think (and the American public demand) our own versions of amazing international movies?

Ninja Assassin – Sho Kosugi! That’s right, the Ninja master from the classic 80s movies is back. But this time he’s the heavy! This movie totally caught me off guard. I watched it a couple weeks ago On Demand and was blown away with its stylish filming and action scenes. If you’re a fan of 80s ninja movies, then check this out.

True Grit – A late comer, but the movie was fabulous. Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn is a hell of a lot more interesting (and believable) than John Wayne’s version. I know, I know, some of those John Wayne fans will see that as sacreligious but I’m one of those guys who have never really enjoyed him as an actor. If you get a chance, see this movie.

BOOKS

The Girl With The Dragoon Tattoo, et al by Stieg Larssons – I read the first two books of the series prior to seeing the movies. They were decent tales, albeit bloated. From what I’ve read, the author Stieg Larssons died after delivering the three manuscripts to his publisher. Perhaps, had he been alive a bit longer, an editor would have helped him tighten up the stories. Regardless, the plotting was interesting and the stories made some great movies. If you have to make a choice, see the movies instead.

The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump– Okay, so this book was written in 1987 and I originally read it when I was a senior in high school. I reread the book and it knocked my socks off on how good it was. Yeah, there is the traditional Trump bragging, but there were some amazing insights on deal making. Had I realized some of these concepts earlier, I might have avoided the (still) costly Laundromat debacle of 2008.

SPORTS

Shock Me, Make Me Feel Better - The Shock, Spokane’s arena football team stepped up this year from the Af2 to the Arena Football League (AFL) after it restructured. And just like their first season in the Af2, the Shock went out and, well, shocked the rest of the league by winning the Arena Bowl in their first year. This was done with a first year coach (Rob Keefe), as well. We’re spoiled by how good this team has been.

Army Football – This week, they won their first bowl game since 1985. Go Army! Next year, let’s Beat Navy!

Cleveland Browns – Some things are better left unsaid.

That’s it for now. Was there more stuff that I dug this year? Oh, yeah, of course there was, but I’m limited to time and space.

Since 2011 is here it’s time to move on.

A Test From The Phone

2010-12-26T08:49:00.001-08:00

This post isn't anything more than a test from my new smartphone. I'm using an application to write this post. The app is slick and I'm using the keyboard assist program called Swype.

Done and out.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Another Cleveland Post

2010-11-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't written or blogged in quite sometime (obviously) and I've been thinking more and more that I should be focused on getting some words out again.

There are lots of things to discuss, ramble on about or just rant for a bit.

However, I just found a video that I figured I should share. It's the city of Cleveland's response to the turn-coat LeBron James. He made a lot of promises to Cleveland, but I guess we shouldn't have believed him after he starting showing up with a New York Yankees hat on.

Anyway, here's the video.

Another Browns debacle

2010-03-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

I’ve been a Browns fan my entire life because my dad raised me that way. It’s been a long, tough ride and I think I’m going to get off.

Since I was born in 1969, I missed the glory years of Coach Paul Brown and the greatest football player ever, Jim Brown. My dad, however, experienced those great years and so his tolerance for Cleveland Brown mediocrity is slightly higher than mine.

As a kid, I watched Brian Sipe and the Cardiac Kids and loved the Browns. Even though we consistently came up short, the Browns were my team and I idolized them.

Soon, Bernie Kosar came to Cleveland and gave us all hope. Our hearts were broken, not once, but twice by the Denver Broncos in AFC Championship games. Those games still haunt my football dreams, especially since Denver went on to lose both Super Bowls.

Bernie was ushered out by a new head coach, Bill Belichick in favor of Vinny Testeverde. I hung in there, though, even though my hero had been shown the door.

It didn’t take long until Bill and Vinny were gone as well as the entire team. Art Modell, the team’s owner, hurt the Browns Nation by moving the team to Baltimore and creating the Ravens.

The team was reborn in 1999 and have been lackluster every year since. I’ve continued to support the team. My friends and family hung in there as the team went through a quarterback carousel that’s been one of the worst in the league.

When the team drafted Brady Quinn in 2007, my hopes were raised. We got a strong young kid from Notre Dame to play in the big game. He road the bench his first year in order to learn the NFL game and adapt to the speed. The starting quarterback that year, Charlie Frye, was traded after the first game and Derek Anderson, the second stringer, came in and threw the ball like a mad man.

The following season a quarterback controversy started. Anderson vs. Quinn. Anderson started but didn’t have a great season. He finally was benched and Brady Quinn made his first official start against the Denver Broncos in Cleveland Stadium. I was lucky enough to be there for that game. The crowd cheered wildly when Brady walked out for the first time. For most of the game we had the Broncos against the ropes, but the defense faltered in the fourth quarter and the Browns lost.

In 2009, Eric Mangini was brought in as the new coach of the Browns, a move that wasn’t a fan favorite. Quinn started the season under the new coach who clearly didn’t believe in him. He benched Quinn after two and half games and brought Anderson back into the starting role. Anderson had a horrible year and late in the season, Brady was back at starter until he was hurt.

Quinn’s total starts in three years were 12 games and he went 3-9 last year, a dismal record. But the team wasn’t solid until the last four games of the 2009 season. Blaming Quinn for all of the losses is ridiculous. The team was simply bad.

When Mike Holmgren (former Seattle Seahawks coach) was brought in as the team’s new President, I thought we were on the right track. Holmgren cut, traded and brought in new players as soon as he could. He even kept Mangini around as the coach, the short winning streak at the end of the season had saved his job.

But today was the final blow to my fragile belief in the Browns.

They traded Brady Quinn to the Denver Broncos.

The team has brought in a career back-up in Seneca Wallace (Seattle Seahawks) and a starter who has had a questionable decision making over the past couple of seasons, Jake Delhomme (Carolina Panthers). Now, I like Jake and I hope he gets a new lease on life as a Browns quarterback.

I wish the best to Quinn. I hope the kid proves to the NFL that he’s a winner and ends up with a sterling career that will make the Browns regret getting rid of him.

As for me, I’m filled with disappointment yet again. Forty-one years have passed since I was born and every football season has been spent routing for the Browns. That’s a lot of futility for a fan to take.

I think I’m finally at the point to give up and move one.

I lived in Colorado for a while. Maybe I’ll try cheering for the Broncos now.

Stores for a Dead Night in Spokane

2009-08-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have several short stories in Stories for a Dead Night in Spokane, a local anthology that hit bookstores (local at least) yesterday. My stories in this anthology are The Serious Business of Ira Hammerstein, Death at Sunrise and Foolproof.

There were nice reviews done by both Spokane / Coeur d'Alene Living and The Inlander. There will be a reading / signing on August 21st at Auntie's bookstore.

Stories for a Dead Night in Spokane is available at Spokane area bookstores and Amazon.com.

Journal of Business Article

2009-07-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

I wrote an article for the Journal of Business that appeared in the July 1st issue. The article provided different thoughts to consider prior to selecting a property management company.

The article has been reprinted on the NAI Black website. Check it out here.

2009-03-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

An old Army buddy of mine, Ed Kratil sent me a picture a couple days ago of the kaserne (post) where we lived in Muenster, Germany for over two years. He told me that our former home had been remodeled into low-income housing.

In the picture, the guard shack at the front of the post had been converted into some sort of pizza shop.

I stared at the picture for a bit. After the Gulf War had started several of us where pulling guard duty for the base in that shack. In the background you can see large growth of grass and other vegetation. When we were there, it was trimmed neat and clean.

I’ve included the only remaining picture I have of that area. I cut it down several years ago to fit into one of those multi-picture frames.

While I looked at the picture, I thought of the lyrics to My City was Gone (by the Pretenders).

The lyrics are:

I went back to Ohio

but my city was gone

there was no train station

there was no downtown

South Howard had disappeared

all my favorite places

my city had been pulled down

reduced to parking spaces

A, O, way to go, Ohio

I’m not one to stand in the way of progress, but I was sad to realize that my former home was gone.

I had a similar feeling last year when I visited my former hometown of Wapakenta, Ohio. The city really hadn’t changed, but I had. The warm memories I had of that town were vague due to the passing of my childhood. Seeing it again, gave it a reality that didn’t jibe with how I remembered it.

But seeing our post as low income housing isn’t erasing or changing those memories I have. In fact, I think I might be remembering them a little more fondly now.

I won’t be able to walk back in the barracks and see some lowly private sitting CQ.

I won’t be able to see my old room.

I won’t be able to go down range and see the bunkers where my other friends were working while Angel and I were in Darmstadt screwing around. We had a great gig!

Hell, there are a lot of memories I won’t be able to relive.

Except in my memories.

With every year they are sweeter.

Social Networking at its Finest

2009-03-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

Let’s talk social networking for a bit.

I joined Facebook a bit ago, but never did much with it. I just let it sit there. It didn’t interest me that much. I was more interested in creating my LinkedIn page for business networking.

I wasn’t even paying much attention to it until Craig Nelson found me.

Craig was one of the closest friends I’ve had in my life. We were stationed in Muenster, Germany from 1989-91 at the 184th Ordnance Company. I liked Craig immediately when I met him. He was smart (exceptionally so), witty and a bit cocky. We had similar personalities in that we wanted to “experience” Germany, not just “live” there. We took German in college courses and always wanted to be on the “economy” and not on base. I loved Craig like an older brother.

After Craig found me on Facebook, we found Steve Angelastro, another of our 184th brothers. Steve was my roommate for the majority of the time I was in Muenster. He was the most lovable guy I’ve ever met. He was (and probably still is) motivated by making people smile. However, he had the worst taste in women any of us had ever seen and the most annoying habit of grabbing an unguarded video camera. I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate for those years.

Once Angel was in the mix, it didn’t take long for Phil Mainz to join. Phil and Steve are friends who live in the great city of Chicago. To put it plainly, during our time in Germany, there was something wrong with Phil. He was that guy who guzzled Pepsi and chain-smoked Marlboro’s for two years. Every day in the chow hall, the guy ate a cheeseburger. He could have had anything but he chose a cheeseburger. He loved to offend but was secretly a nice guy. He’d go out of his way to help a friend. However, he may still own a compromising photo of me with his inflatable Gumby.

A couple days ago, Angel found Ed Kratil on Facebook. Ed was the original nice guy. While the rest of us were heathens in various stages of development, Ed was quiet and calm. He was mature beyond his years. He had a great sense of humor and was smarter than the rest of us. If anyone was counted on to help our group make the right decision, it was Ed.

Okay, so how would I describe me at 20 years of age? Well, I wanted to get laid (although wasn’t very successful at it). I wanted beer. I wanted to laugh with my friends. I didn’t go home for more the 2 ½ years I was in Germany because the guys above were my family. I cried when I left and was depressed for a bit when I got home. Even now, it’s tough remembering that.

I wish I could tell you more about the guys, but I don’t have the time or the space. Just know that they were family.

So far we’ve found five of us. We’re still missing part of the old crew, but hopefully we can pick up a few more. And maybe we’ll even get together at some point.

But we need to keep the video camera away from Angel.

Growing up, not growing old

2009-03-08T10:19:00.001-07:00

I turned 40 on January 30th of this year.

I don’t have any children of my own and never had any little ones in the house.

So, why on earth am I keeping storage rooms full of toys and comic books?

Yeah, I’m that guy. The 40 Year Old not-so-much-Virgin. I admit it.

I’ve taken a lot of teasing over the years for my love of comics and my collecting of toys related to those comics. I kept the comics in plastic sleeves with backer boards. The toys were never removed from their boxes because they would lose their value. Sheesh, what a nerd.

A few years back, I sold a bunch of my toys off on ebay. I made about $3,000 doing it. That’s amazing, right? Do you know what’s more amazing? I bought very high-end comics with that money. Yup, that’s classic Colin. Do something good and follow it up with a silly decision. I’ve got a handful of professionally-graded comics now that total more than $3,000.

Iron Man #1 and Fantastic Four #48 (the first appearance of the Silver Surfer) are just a couple of this bunch. I was so happy to own these books. I stared longingly at them for several weeks. I showed them off to friends and family. Then I put them in a box. I’ve only looked at them one or twice since when I’ve had to move that box. Where’s the value or joy in owning something like that?

The same goes for the toys. I’ve got boxes and boxes filled with toys and vintage video game systems. These boxes are in the furnace room, the attic, my home office and a couple closets. For a while, I had all of my toys on display in my home office, but I decided to stop with the toy store look and put them away. I never look at those things now.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, like I said I turned 40 this year. On my birthday, I was eating breakfast alone in a Las Vegas casino restaurant. I liked being there that morning and reflecting on my life. There were many things I’ve done that I was happy about (joining the Army, getting my college degree, being a cop, joining General Growth) and some things I wasn’t (getting involved with the police guild, walking away from GGP, buying a Laundromat).

I didn’t decide at that moment to sell my collection, but I knew I wanted to make different choices in my life. On of those was to grow up.

Oh, I’ll still love comic book heroes and will rush to the movie theater when the new Wolverine movie comes out. (I saw Watchmen on opening night and it was great). I will still think some toys are awesome to look at, but I won’t be buying them anymore.

Why should I keep a house full of things that serve no purpose? They are my “knick-knacks.”

My mom has a house full of knick-knacks and it drives me crazy. It always has. I hate little trinkets here and there, cluttering up a house, requiring extra dusting and always getting in the way. But it wasn’t until this birthday that I realized I was doing the same thing.

I don’t want to be that guy anymore.

So, I’ve started a big sell-off on ebay and craigslist. Last year I did a big spring clean-out and was dumping boxes and other crap that I saved for no reason. Why would anyone keep a box to a flat screen TV that you’ve had for two years? But I hoarded the collectibles, refusing to see what I now see.

Well, no more. My goal is to de-clutter my life while at the same time recapturing some of the funds that went into building this collection. It’s a slow process, but a process I have begun nonetheless.

I want to live life. I want to learn how to play the guitar (I’m taking lessons now). I want to travel and sightsee. I want to improve my writing. I want to go back to school. I want to take Kenpo Karate again. I want to try my hand at owning a business again. I will do these things because they are what add value to my life. They will challenge me and help me grow.

I won’t judge my life by the things I own. Not anymore.

American Psycho

2009-02-07T07:45:00.001-08:00

I finished American Pyscho (1991) yesterday by Bret Easton Ellis, the author of Less than Zero.

However, I remembered watching the movie American Psycho (2000) with Christian Bale in the lead and thinking, “That’s f’ing weird.”

A friend of mine recommended I read it while on vacation and I’ve got to tell you, “It’s f’ing weird.”

But in a good way.

First of all, if you are in anyway offended by scenes of sex, torture or murder then stay the hell away from this book. Don’t open it up and randomly read anything. You will scream and tear your eyes out if you hit one of several passages. I am not easily offended by any book and I have to say there were several times I put the book down and thought, “Oh, man, I don’t want that image in my head.”

If you can put aside the few truly graphic scenes, the rest of the book is amazing. Ellis wrote the book in first person narrative, so you see the world through the eyes of Patrick Bateman, a Wall Street serial killer.

Bateman lives in a world of consumption, not compassion. He can describe the clothes his friends wear right down to the designer label and the cut of the suit. He brags about his purchases with the recall of a product brochure.

He can tell you what is the hot restaurant to be seen at without even thinking. The presentation of food is more important than the taste. He passed up eating a meal because he didn’t want to disturb the presentation of the food. Food was often ordered just so it would sit on the table.

The way the “hard bodies” (his term) look is more important than what they think. They are only toys to be used and then thrown away. Sometimes that is figurative. Other times that is literal.

People are interchangeable in the world Bateman lives in. Those outside his clique constantly refer to him as someone else. He and his friends confuse those outside their clique in the same manner.

Everyone is wearing a mask. Only Bateman’s mask hides a killer.

The scenes where Bateman pulls off his mask and shows his depravity are the only place reality takes hold. There are no lies to be told. There is only the truth of what he is doing to others. Afterward, Bateman returns to the world of the masked Wall Streeter where lies are told among friends and everyone tries to out do the other in the world of consumption.

I found myself impressed with the way Ellis pulled off the psychotic nature of Bateman. He didn’t beat the reader over the head with it. In fact, a good quarter of the book passes before any murderous act is shown. Up until then it is little mentions of evil that are sprinkled in with the narration of Bateman’s shallow life.

The ending kind of fizzled for me, but the rest of the book was worth the journey.

I’d recommend this book with one caveat: if you have a weak stomach, read something else.

Reflections On The Pop Culture That Was - 2008

2008-12-31T08:17:00.001-08:00

I’m trolling my brain for all of the things that I really enjoyed this year. Some of them have been around for a while, but I just discovered them. I’ll share them with you here but you have to promise that if you disagree with me you’ll not tell me how great the new Britney Spears album is or how important the Sex and the City movie was to you.

BOOKS

The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx– A year long slide into a drugged induced hell is chronicled by the Motley Crue bassist. The book was released in late in 2007, but I only found it this year. It’s the best thing I read all year.

Somebody Owes Me Money by Donald Westlake and A Diet of Treacle by Lawrence Block – These books were put out by Hard Case Crime. HCC is re-releasing vintage crime fiction books from masters such as Westlake and Block. Every time I see that Hard Case Crime logo I get excited and scoop up a new book.

Hit and Run by Lawrence Block – Keller, the stamp collecting hit man is back. Block is my favorite author and I enjoyed the hell out of this story.

INTERNET

Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog – if you haven’t seen this yet, go check it out. It’s a three part mini-movie (42 minutes in all) about a super villain and the woman he adores from afar. The back story on it is very interesting as it was made during the Writer’s Strike. There are some amazingly catchy tunes in the movie, my favorite being Freeze Ray (Laundry Day).

LinkedIn – I signed up for LinkedIn last year, the social networking site for business. I did little with it, but have decided to use it more aggressively in marketing me and what I can do for a prospective client.

Facebook – I finally got in the groove of social networking. I also signed up for Facebook last year, but did nothing with it. Recently, however, it’s allowed me to connect with several old friends, especially three Army buddies that were a huge part of my life.

MUSIC

Motley Crue’s Saints of Los Angeles – The Crue was back this year and I loved the title track. The rest of the album was awesome as well.

Sixx A.M.’s The Heroin Diaries – This was the soundtrack to the book mentioned above. Nikki Sixx put together a band and created an amazing album that goes hand-in-hand with his story.

Buckcherry’s Too Drunk to F&^% - This is not a remake of the classic Dead Kennedy’s song (can something be classic with a swear word in the title?). Buckcherry’s tune is catchy and full of dirty, suggestive lyrics. I love it!

MOVIES

Iron Man – Yup, it’s as good as they say.

The Dark Knight – Christian Bale was excellent and Heath Ledger was the creepiest villain I’ve ever seen.

The Incredible Hulk – screw the critics. The movie was a blast.

Quantum of Solace – Bond was back. While it wasn’t as good as Casino Royale, Quantum showed why the current incarnation of Bond is the best and toughest of them all.

Tropical Thunder – Robert Downey is the man. “Just because it’s a theme song don’t make it not true.”

Mr. Brooks – Okay, this one was made in 2007, but I saw it only a few days ago on DVD. Kevin Costner plays Mr. Brooks, a serial killer who lives as a mild-mannered businessman trying to control his evil urges. William Hurt plays the embodiment of his sociopathic nature. Costner was great but Hurt stole the movie.

TELEVISION

The Big Bang Theory – it’s in its second season but I just discovered it. The show is about two nerdy physicists, their two geeky friends and the beautiful girl who lives next door. When I initially heard about the show, I thought it would be stupid beyond belief. Man, was I wrong! It’s the funniest thing since the first season of Two and a Half Men.

The Shield – this series wrapped up this year after seven seasons. It was known for pushing the limit and this season didn’t back down. The series finale was very disturbing and left images in my head that I still see when I think about the show.

Saturday Night Live’s political skits – SNL finally mattered again. Tina Fey is the sexiest woman on the planet!

Countdown with Keith Olberman – Yeah, he’s liberal. Get over it. He’s also the smartest and wittiest political commentator out there.

VIDEO GAMES (Xbox 360)

Rainbow Six Vegas 2 – Oh, man, there is a disturbing little thrill that comes from tossing a grenade into a room full of terrorists.

Gears of War – This one came out a year ago, but I was late to the party. But, damn, what a party! Big guns, bigger explosions and a bunch of creepy aliens. I’m hoping to get the second game in this series soon.

Well, that’s it. I’m sure I left out some things, but I’m out of coffee and it’s time to get moving

Let it snow, let it snow, irkkk.....

2008-12-19T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well, Spokane has experienced the largest single day snow fall in the history of the city. This follows last year's record snow fall.

I thought for sure we'd have a mild winter here or at least an average one. But, nooooo, Old Man Winter's got to dump all over us.

I took some good pics with my camera but lost the cord to download them. As soon as I find the cord, I'll post them here for you to check out.

My Dad is Dirk Diggler

2008-12-11T06:36:00.000-08:00

I recently found something that has turned my life upside down. I now know why I am the way I am. It took only a single picture to point it out to me.

My dad was a porn star.

Yup, you heard me. The old man was Wapakoneta, Ohio's version of Dirk Diggler (Boogie Nights, for those of you out of the loop).

Check him out.

He's the one in the white leisure suit.

He's with a whole crew of porn stars known as "The Jaycees." Man, these guys rocked the 'stache! The combination of a big bushy mustache and a leisure suit was the '70s uniform of a budding porn star.

He was the "internal director". Man, the guy was dirty!

This gang was obviously a force to be reckoned with. I'm sure that there were mothers and fathers in Auglaize county who would lock up their daughters when the Jaycees rolled into town.

How did the local cops not know what this crew was up to? Look at those guys. They were obviously freaks.

I'm afraid to now learn about coked-out, key parties he went to in the 70s. Or the disco parties he danced the "Hustle" at.

My old man hasn't smiled like that since, well, since he moved back to Ohio. I can't say more because I don't want to embarrass his girl, Cheryl.

Crap, my dad has "a girl". My dad is getting action again. He hasn't stopped his dirty ways.

And here I thought my dad was a honest joe who repressed his sexuality with archaic values. What a dolt, I was. The old man was a playa before I even knew what a playa was!

All I can say is "Playa play on!"

Box Set Mania

2008-12-04T23:08:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned previously, I recently finished watching the final season of The Shield. What I didn't share with you is how I watched it.

No, not in my underwear with Cheetohs dust stuck to my chest hairs. (I'm not that bad, people).

No, I watched the entire final season over three nights. I had recorded the show every week on my DVR. After the series finale was recorded, I decided to sit down and watch all of the shows back to back.

Why did I do that? Because watching a weekly serial has become harder and harder. No, I haven't grown suddenly more stupid. It's because I'm spoiled.

I've been spoiled by box sets. Yes, those wonderful collections of entire seasons and/or series. I love them. There is nothing more satisfying that sitting down with a great television show (yes, there are still some out there) and watching every episode one after another.

It allows for a much quicker immersion into the characters and the show. Things that occurred in a previous episode stay front and center in your mind. And the time is better spent, because you aren't wasting time with all of those blasted commercials.

How many times do you need to be sold on the value of a Ford truck or how great a Coca-Cola would taste or how unfresh you feel until you use a disposable douche from Summer's Eve?

So, I now have a large collection of my favorite shows on DVD now. It's become so bad that I don't mind not being in the immediate loop of a show. It'll come out on DVD soon enough and when it does, I'll lock myself away and watch it.

I may be boring around a water cooler, but at least I can watch the entire season of Greg the Bunny in one day. Can you?

The Shield

2008-12-03T13:41:00.000-08:00

I just watched the final episode of The Shield last night. Man, it was unsettling. I won’t give anything away to those readers who might not have seen it. But I do want to talk about the series.

The first episode introduced a dirty cop named Vic Mackey who would be the center point of the show for the entire run. In that episode, Vic kills an undercover cop who was out to expose him and his “Strike Team” and their dirty dealings. Vic and his crew weren’t dirty cops in the cliché mold. They were guys who loved each other and their families. They believed that cops were a family, although they often had disagreements inside. And they often did some very heroic things which often left you cheering for them, but all the while never forgiving them for their transgressions.

As the series continued, the killing of the undercover cop continued to tear at the team. The team killed others, but they were drug dealers or killers themselves, but not another cop. Each member had to come to terms with the killing and it never quit haunting Vic Mackey.

The team was investigated by Internal Affairs in the fifth season and it almost put them away. A team member was killed at the end of that season because another team member thought he was going to rat them out. That was the straw that finally tore the team apart. They would never recover.

The final season was a slam bang ride of the downward spiral of Vic and his Strike Team. The remaining team members were losing it. Vic became less of a sympathetic character by the end of the final season. I stared sadly at the television screen as each episode progressed and Vic came apart more and more, finally compromising the one remaining friend he had so he could save his skin. But it all made sense and, while I was sad to see it end, it was a logical and fairly satisfying end.

I got into The Shield when I was still a cop. I had seen previews of the show on FX I immediately wanted to see it. I write short stories where the good guys are never that good and the bad guys are sometimes heroes. I knew the show was going to be right up my alley and I was right.

I remember my wife going to an orientation program for the spouses of officers during my rookie year. The show had just started and was already receiving rave reviews from the mainstream press and less than favorable response from the law enforcement world. The Chief of Police at that time (a man I looked at and still do with great respect) told the spouses that anybody who liked The Shield had a problem and he hoped none of his officers watched it.

Well, I not only watched it, I loved it. And I’m sorry to see it go. But as with everything, life must go on.

"The Kid"

2008-12-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

I just traded a couple emails with a buddy of mine from high school. He mentioned that his baby daughter is now 16 months. It blew my mind how fast time is slipping away from me.

To prove my point, I still find myself thinking of my step-daughter, Sarah, as this goofy 8 year-old kid. Maybe I always will although she will never be that kid again.

She's changed so much over the past two years that it blows my mind.

The first picture is of Sarah at 15 years. I thought the kid was too pretty for her own good. Loser teenage boys were starting to take notice of her and I didn't like that at all.

The second picture of her is at 17. All men are taking notice of her now and I definitely don't like that at all, either!

What the hell is a guy supposed to do when his daughter grows up to be beautiful?

I am so proud of her but at the same time, holy crap, I have a lot of worries about the idiots who will some day be her boyfriends.

Yes, I am pre-judguing them all in a grumpy old man way. And I'm okay with it.

Imagine

2008-11-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

I am sitting in a Starbucks in Issaquah, WA at 6am.

It is Thanksgiving weekend and I don't know where a local coffee shop is. Why else would I sell out and go to the evil behind the wimpification of coffee drinkers?

My daughter, Sarah is with me, texting blissfully away to some dude who is working at a store in our local mall.I am here with a person I think the world of and we are both bouncing our fingers over our own cell phones.

It is Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year. They say there is a recession on but you can't tell it here in the Seattle zone. People are milling about everywhere ready to spend their money for a holiday which has become over commercialized.

I hate the Seattle yuppie. They all look the same. Spoiled, arrogant and filled with the self-importance this region has experienced after years of Microsoft, Boeing and Starbucks success.

If I see another idiot walking around with a Bluetooth earpiece in, I am going to snap by punching them in the throat.

I have been reading an article about the horrible terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India. John Lennon's Imagine came on in the store while reading it.

Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World came on while typing this blog entry.

What a weird fucking world.

Old Man Winter

2008-11-23T06:04:00.000-08:00

Winter is here and I'm not happy about it. I just realized how arrogant that statement is. Who the fuck cares about the mood winter creates within me? Winter is coming regardless. It would be like me saying I was mad that the sun comes up in the morning. What a retarded thing to think.

Ok, I went a little off topic. Back to my original idea...

Anyway, winter is here and it is 6 a.m. I am laying in bed and hesitant to leave the warmth of the coccon I have created with a couple comforters..

Thoughts of work, my biz and writing have worked their way through my head but yet I am still snuggled under the covers.

I actually thought that blogging (I feel like a nerd when I use that word) would allow me to feel some sense of early morning accomplishment.

Instead, my thumbs are tired and I want to put my cold arms back under the covers.

But I sacrifice for the record of truth. Hahaha. What an early morning idiot.

I think I am going to shut this thing down and snuggle back into a pillow.

Stay warm. It's only four months until spring.

A giant hug is needed in Cleveland

2008-11-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a story.

I recently drove 34 hours with my dad to help him move to Lima, Ohio and his girlfriend, Cheryl. Dad grew up in neighboring Cridersville and when I was a kid we lived in Wapakaneta (just outside Lima).

While there I discovered that the Cleveland Browns had a Thursday night home game against the Denver Broncos. To top it off, it was QB Brady Quinn’s first professional game. Quinn carries the hopes of all Cleveland fans like me whose fathers did them a great disservice by raising them as Browns fans.

It took some doing but I finally talked my dad into going. He was doing his grumpy old man impression. We were joined by Luke, Cheryl’s son-in-law. It was a three hour jaunt from Lima to Cleveland to make the 8:15 pm game.

Luke was the biggest hardcore fan I have ever seen in any sport. The guy was a stat freak. He named most of the players on the 1985 team during our conversation. He was probably in grade school then. Hell, I can’t even name all the players on this year’s team. The guy was very cool.

During the drive, Luke told me about how crazy Browns fans are. Well, we saw it up close and personal. I was able to get us tickets in section 117, right next to the Dawg Pound.

We arrived and saw that the stadium was beautiful. That’s when it got ugly.

A drunk Browns fan passed out in the row ahead of us. Before the 1st quarter was over.

A Broncos fan in front of us made a smart-ass comment to a Browns fan behind us. That resulted in a fight between them that tumbled into our laps. The Browns fan was pulled out by security and allowed to return 10 minutes later. He chipped away for the rest of the game at the Bronco, threatening bodily harm over and over.

A few minutes later the crowd chanted “asshole” to a couple of other Bronco fans who fought some other Browns fans. I've never seen so many extended middle fingers!

Are you seeing a pattern here?

Two Browns fans fought each other in the Dawg Pound and were ejected by the police. Brown versus Brown violence. How drunk do you have to be for that? A friend of one of the combatants tried to separate his buddy from a cop. He caught a forearm to the throat from the cop. Three times! The cop beat the guy down and the crowd cheered him on.

During the fourth quarter, there were a couple of grumpy fans in the row behind us that tried to tell the guys next to us to sit down. Um, all 67,000 fans were standing. For the entire game! Duh.

By the time the game was over, the Broncos had accumulated over 500 yards and Brady Quinn had a great game. But the Browns blew a big lead and let the Broncos score 21 points in the 4th quarter.

Of course, we missed most of it because of the craziness around us.

Browns fans need therapy. Lots of it.

Cross country and Mount Rushmore

2008-11-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

I joined my dad on his journey from Puyallup, Washington to Lima, Ohio. He quit is job and is relocating to be closer to his family and his girlfriend, Cheryl.

He stopped in Spokane on Friday and he and I left on Sunday morning. Our first day we drove to Sheridan, Wyoming. The next day we finished up in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The second day included a detour to Mount Rushmore, the one attraction I really wanted to see along the way.

We saw the monument when I was a kid (early high school, I think). Anyway, the monument was impressive and I was really moved by it. Not only the sheer magnitude of the job (12 years from start to completion) but also what it means to our country. I just stood for a while and stared at it. I've included a couple of pictures I took.

Our third day, we made it to Lima which was a 14 hour day of driving. We pushed it hard, but it allowed me an extra day in Ohio. I fly back to Spokane on Saturday.

Cell phone ear piece

2008-10-31T14:47:00.000-07:00

I am at the bank staring at some knuclehead with a cell phone earpiece stuck to the side of his head.

He is not talking to anyone. He's just standing there with the stupid thing blinking blue and feeling like he is cool becuase of it.

I want to slap him.

I want to slap all of you who wear those stupid things when you're not actually using them.

You look like a nerd with a new toy.

Said the guy blogging from his Blackberry while standing in a bank line.

The guy with the earphone looks like he wants to beat me up for texting.

Loser.

My biz

2008-10-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't kept up on the blog in almost a year, you probably don't know that I bought a laundromat about five months ago.

Owning a laundromat wasn't a dream of mine, but I did want to own a business. I looked at a couple previous businesses. I passed on a run-down bar a couple of times (it never seemed right). I came in second on a drive-thru coffee shop. I missed on another coffee shop.

So whan the laundromat popped up on the radar I jumped at it.

I learned a tough lesson: people lie.

The folks who I bought it from padded their numbers and I bit on it. I am struggling to get close to what the previous owner reported as their income and I am running a cleaner biz with more machines working. Well, it's time to bring a lawyer into the mix. I will let you know how that comes out.

As for the biz, I have swung back and forth on if I really dig it or if I want to pack it in and give up.

Today I am doing good. In fact, I have felt better about it lately. The money is not there but I don't feel like the world is crashing around me anymore.

I will continue to push forward and try to make it a success.

Even if I bail on it, I am glad I tried it. I've learned a lot about myself and the knowledge on how to operate a biz is a bonus.

One other thing...

2008-10-27T05:32:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend yesterday and I said something I don't want to forget-

With humilty comes truth.

I've been mulling that over this morning.

Blackberry test

2008-10-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

It's 5:30 on Monday morning and I've been laying here in bed for 20 minutes, thinking about nonsensical things.

One of those random thoughts was to wonder about the ability to post to my blog via my trusty Blackberry.

So that is exactly what I'm doing. If the spelling is off or the formatting is weird, I won't use this in the future.

However, if the formatting is good, I may end up occassionally posting this way.

Okay, this is more than enough to see how it works. Later.

AFK

2008-10-26T06:54:00.000-07:00

AFK. Away from keyboard. It's one of those stupid internet short-hands. Since I'm not an on-line gamer nor a chat room visitor, I learned what AFK meant from a recent episode of The Big Bang Therory.

I thought it was an appopriate posting title to explain that I had fallen off the face of the earth. I've been prone to doing that over the past several years of running my little vanity sites.

And let's be honest, that's what these sites are. They are there to stroke our own egos a bit. I've got a few little sites to showcase my arcade experience, my appreciation of an NFL assisted reading program from my childhood and my writings (as little as they may be).

I want these sites to be somewhat interesting in their own way, but the real reason behind them is so people learn more about me. We're all that way, whether you chose to admit or not. For those of you who have taken the time to create a site, I applaud your efforts. It's not that easy (but easier than some think), but it takes time and dedication to get the site up and keep it stoked with new content. But you are just like me. You want people to see you. You want them to know the side of you that you may not share at work or at home.

Well, I found myself doing other things over the past year that took me away from the keyboard. As a result the website maintenance, blog entries and story creation that I used to enjoy, fell by the wayside. I'm struggling now to get back into the flow of things and relearn certain skills. It took me almost a week to fix a corrupted file on The Way of the Con site that was blocking me from publishing (thanks to the iPower guys for their help!).

Relearning the skill of putting words on to paper (or text into blogs) is a slow process. I've written over the past year, but it has been sporadic at best with only one really nice piece to show for it.

But I'm hopeful that things will get better and my ideas will get sharper and stories will form in my head. That way you can see the real me again.

Press 1 if you hate phone trees

2007-08-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Man, I’ve had enough of computerized answering services. I don’t like walking through a number of questions where I have to punch a number on the keypad. I want to talk to a person.

I wanted to pay my American Express bill so I called them direct. After repeatedly smashing the # key, I was transferred to an operator. When I informed him that I wanted to make a payment he transferred me to a woman to help me. When I informed her that I wanted to pay my bill, she gave me the number I originally called and told me about the pay by phone option. I told her no, that I didn’t want to pay by phone and wanted to work with a human. She seemed surprised that I wasn’t willing to do this.

I love computers. I’ve loved them since I was a kid. But I don’t want to conduct business with one. I like the comfort of talking with someone with words other than “yes” or “no.” Maybe it’s my age, but I don’t figure I’m too damn old at 38. I figure it’s the right of anyone willing to hand over hard earned money to get to talk with someone.

With that being said, I am also sick and tired of dealing with customer service agents who barely speak English. Companies are farming out this service to India as a cost savings method. Unfortunately, this has been done at the expense of customer service. I don’t have a problem with anyone from India. It’s a great country and I am very impressed with what they do. However, I would like to speak with someone who understands the things I say and someone I can understand. The language barrier makes things tougher when trying to resolve an issue.

I long for the days not so long ago when you called and somebody answered, “Good morning, XYZ Corporation.” I wonder how long it will take to get back to those days.

Shout It Out Loud!

2007-08-04T08:22:00.001-07:00

When I was growing up, I was a fan of KISS. I think I was in the third grade when my best friend, Steve Monroe, introduced me to them. His older brother had Love Gun on 8-Track and we would listen to it in his room.

I idolized Star Child (Paul Stanley), Space Ace (Ace Frehley), the Cat (Peter Criss) and the Demon (Gene Simmons).

At Easter, I remember making KISS Easter eggs with Steve and bringing them home to my mom and dad who were less then impressed.

When I got into junior high school, I remember KISS taking on a more sinister image due to the church we were attending. I had read a book, either at the church’s urging or my parent's, about Satanism in rock and roll. The book freaked me out and convinced me that KISS really stood for Knights in Satan’s Service.

During high school, my friend Derek Etten brought me back into the KISS fold. He was really into them. This was the period of time when KISS abandoned their make-up and changed a couple of members. I was more into Oingo Boingo and Van Halen at this time, so KISS was really a second tier band for me.

In the late 90s, the original KISS group reunited for a tour and an album. I started following them again and was disappointed I couldn’t make one of their concerts. This is the only band I’ve regretted not getting a chance to see.

Last year, I stumbled across Gene Simmons Family Jewels, a reality show on A&E about the KISS bassist and his family. The program showed the Demon as a boisterous businessman devoted to his family. I started becoming more interested in KISS yet again.

I picked up a copy of Sex Money Kiss, Gene Simmons' “self-help” (loosely used) book covering everything from business to marriage. Simmons is a huge proponent of not getting married, as it is fundamentally a giant screw against men. I roared when I read the chapter. I loaned the book to a female KISS fan in the office. She didn’t think the marriage chapter was as funny as I did.

Anyway, I really enjoyed Simmons’ writing style so I ordered his biography, KISS and Make-up. It took me only a few days to read it and I felt like I was a kid again. It was interesting to get the inside scoop on things that I remembered clearly. Love Gun, Destroyer, the Marvel Comics Super Special comic book and the movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.

He’s neither a drinker nor a partier, but chased skirts with a passion. Some of his stories were so outrageous they could only be true.

I also liked Gene’s honesty regarding the business of rock and roll. He talked about the tremendous marketing plan that is KISS as well as his side businesses.

The whole book was fascinating and I would readily recommend it to any fan of KISS.

After finishing the book, I pulled out my Marvel Comics Super Special KISS comic book and reread it.

What a fan boy!

Nerd Love

2007-08-02T08:19:00.000-07:00

I love my iMac.

I have abandoned all hope that a PC will ever make me happy.

And since I’ve switched, I’m a nerd for those funny commercials with the two actors portraying a Mac and a PC.

Check them out here.

http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/

Don’t Get Mad. Get Fuzzy.

2007-08-01T08:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve found a new way to deal with rough days. It doesn’t have to do with booze or twenty-something blondes, although a combination of those wouldn’t hurt!

Anyway, I’m talking about the newspaper comic strip, Get Fuzzy.

I started reading the strip in the Spokesman-Review and remembered just how weird and crazy it was. It consistently made me laugh out loud.

While at a bookstore, I found five books collecting this strip on the markdown table. I snatched up a copy of each and took them back to my apartment.

I’ll pull them out after work and read a couple of strips and laugh. It's a nice way to clear the cobwebs of corporate crap from my mind. (A little alliteration never hurts)

The strip focuses on Rob Wilco, a single guy with two pets: Bucky, a cat with goals of world domination; and Satchel, a loveable, yet naive dog with goals of eating something yummy.

Bucky and Satchel can talk and they put poor Rob through some pretty hilarious situations.

I’ve read all the books now that I bought and need bite the bullet and buy the remaining collections. I love Get Fuzzy the way I use to love Calvin and Hobbes. They are by far, the two best newspaper comic strips I’ve ever seen.

The Night of the Generals

2007-07-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

I recently read The Night of the Generals by Hans Hellmut Kirst. The book, originally written in German, was published in 1962.

The story centers on the hunt for a serial killer whose crimes are first discovered in Poland, 1942. The Germans are in control of the city and a German general is suspected of the crime. The investigation is blocked and the investigators are shipped elsewhere.

The major players reunite two years later in Paris. Another brutal murder is committed and the investigators who originally handled the case are back on the trail. Unfortunately, the attempted overthrow of Hitler is launched and everything spins out of control. One of the investigators is killed before he can discover the truth.

After the war, a heinous crime is discovered in East Germany. The remaining investigator with the help of a French detective devises a plan to finally catch the killer.

This book knocked my socks off. It will go into my collection and definitely be reread again.

I’m not much of a history fiction fan, but this story hooked me from the outset and wouldn’t let go. The images it presented were so vivid I could easily imagine war-torn Poland and the characters inhabiting the story.

I know it’s been made into a movie and I look forward to seeing it some day. I’m sure it will have a tough time living up to the book, though.

Attack of the Mommies (and the Daddies)

2007-07-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

Get your friggin’ child under control.

I am so tired of being in an airplane with someone who lets their little brat run up and down the aisle. The child touches anything and everything as it walks by regardless of whether it’s food, mineral or iPod.

I would growl at the kid if the mush-brained woman in the next aisle wasn’t smiling so goofily that you know she’s aching to have one of these walking poop machines for herself.

It’s bad enough the brats are noisy distractions, but then their wide-assed parent has to come waddling behind the child, talking at full volume how funny their own child is.

They are not funny. They are out of control.

I am equally as tired of the little monsters running around my apartment swimming pool at night, screaming their heads off. This is usually followed by the mentally challenged parent yelling at their kid to be quiet because there are people sleeping.

Now, I’m smart enough to live in a very nice apartment complex and live on the opposite side of the complex from the pool. However, I’ve taken a liking to swimming at night as a way to reduce the day’s stress. This is shot to hell when the ill-mannered children show up.

They are that way because the parents are that way. Blame yourself and then fix it.

Oh, and please, don’t ask me if I think your child is the cutest baby in the world. I don’t.

Everyone thinks their baby is the cutest one in the world. For me, babies are a noisy, pooping mess. I don’t have a baby nor do I want one.

Nature made your baby cute in your eyes for one simple reason: survival. If the baby was ugly you might abandon it to go in search of something flashy at Wal-Mart.

Also, don’t tell me that your child is a precious miracle. It’s not.

Miracles are once-in-a-lifetime events such as manna falling from heaven and the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey team winning gold. Those are miracles.

Millions of children are born every year, which dictates birth is no longer a miracle. Don’t try to convince me otherwise because you’ll sound like a crystal-wearing religious fanatic.

Your child is not a miracle. It is a biological fact.

Uncontrollable children aren’t the fault of being poor or being a single parent. They are the result of stupid, lazy people having children.

I knew a single mother whose young children were the most behaved kids around. Why? Because she kept them in line. She wouldn’t let them get out of control. If they did, she disciplined them.

I’ve also seen the children of rich parents be totally out of control. Why? Because mommy and daddy make excuses for the child’s bad behavior and are a living example that the rules apply to others, not them.

I really appreciate those parents who keep their toddlers and young children under control. For those of you who do this (and I’m sure most of those folks think they don’t do it enough), I salute you. Thank you, sincerely.

For those of you who don’t, well, hell I wouldn’t expect you to read this or even think about it if you did. With your limited introspective abilities, I’m sure you’re in front of the television, watching QVC and hoping to buy something shiny.

There’s an old saying that goes “Children should be seen and not heard.” Hell, even when I’ve got my iPod on, these little brats are disturbing.

Live Free or Die Hard

2007-07-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

I just got back from watching Live Free or Die Hard. I guess I’ve got to say…. huh.

I’m a Die Hard fan from the first time I saw it in the theater. It was the action movie that started all of the “one man against an army” flicks. There have been good copies Die Hard 2 and Under Siege are a couple. Of course there have been more poor imitations that I’m going to waste time trying to recollect.

Anyway, I went hoping to see a return to the John McClain character in the first and second movies. The third movie was okay but I didn’t find the character particularly likeable and the movie was average for the genre.

Well, John McClain is definitely back, but he’s been forced into a situation that flips him from Die Hard action to True Lies / James Bond action. At one point McClain jumps on the back of a fighter jet that is trying to blow up the truck he is driving.

I found myself torn between wanting to like the movie as a James Bond-ian adventure and being disappointed that it was over the top in certain situations.

Regardless, it’s a decent popcorn flick and worth seeing. I will more than likely add it o my DVD collection when it comes out. It wasn’t a bad way to cool off on a Saturday afternoon.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

2007-06-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

I saw Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer last weekend. I can only say, damn!

Okay, we’ve really established my comic book fan boy status so I’m not going to waste any more time in going over that.

The Silver Surfer and the effects in this movie blew me away. This is how a comic book movie should be (see Ghost Rider & Spider-man 3 for comic book movies gone off course). The Silver Surfer (voice by Lawrence Fishbourne) was badass, baby!

The only straying away from the comic was in how the movie portrayed Galactus, the destroyer of worlds who Silver Surfer is enslaved to. Of course, they couldn’t have really gone with the comic version of him because it would have come out cheesy (I’m certain).

All in all, a great time. Check this one out if you get a chance.

More movie reviews ...

2007-06-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve had ample time to watch some movies lately. I’ll give you just a quick run-down because I’m desperately trying to get caught up on things.

I re-watched one of my all time favs, Harper, with a young Paul Newman as Lew Harper (based upon Ross MacDonald’s Lew Archer). Newman is a total bad ass and a cool mo-fo to boot in this flick.

I also finally got to watch Kiss Me Deadly, a 1955 movie based on Mickey Spillane’s novel of the same name. It featured Mike Hammer so I was immediately intrigued. Unfortunately, they made Mike out to be a sleazy, Los Angeles detective at the beginning who is always looking for angles to swindle cheating spouses out of their money. That ain’t Mike Hammer and the movie was simply tough to get through. I kept looking for a redeeming quality in the flick and couldn’t find a one. Skip this if you ever run across it.

Another one to completely ignore is the original The Italian Job with Michael Caine. Now, I’m a big Caine fan but this movie was horrible. It was definitely a period piece (late 60s) as it looks and feels horrible dated and cheesy now. Hollywood remade this movie into a passable caper-film a few years back. Definitely see the remake over the original.

A science fiction movie the way it should be...

2007-06-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

In my new digs, I bought a 42’ plasma screen television. Since you obviously know how much I love movies, you have to realize this gave me a cinematic orgasm the moment I put Blade Runner (The Director’s Cut) in.

I mentioned it earlier in a post about Philip K. Dick and it’s stuck in my head ever since. Well, I revisited this movie and stared awestruck for over two hours. First of all, the story is an amazing blend of science fiction and crime noir. I’m not going to recount the movie because if you haven’t’ seen it yet (it came out in 1982) then you are cinematically deficient and I can’t waste any more time on you.

What I will spend time blabbing about is how impressive this movie looked. The special effects were impressive back in ’82 and they are still impressive today. I’ve watched a lot of newer science fictions movies over the past year that are relying heavily on digital (a.k.a. computer) effects. Hell, even action movies are relying on them. Unfortunately, digital effects look fake next to real life people and places. There’s no way to get around that. You can suspend disbelief for a bit, but in the end you always know that Jar Jar Binks is fake.

But not with Blade Runner. The future looks impressive because it looks real. It looks like this place could exist. Duh, I know it doesn’t, but it looks like it could. That’s the point.

During the entire movie I was in awe of how it looked. The story was heightened because of it. If you haven’t watched it lately, I suggest going back and taking a look at it again. And if you can do it on a big screen television, by all means do it.

The Wheel Man

2007-05-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

I just finished The Wheel Man by Duane Swierczynski. The book is non-stop action and came highly recommended by the folks at Seattle Mystery Bookstore (albeit last year when I was there).

The story deals with the aftermath of a robbery with various factions vying to steal the money from the robbers themselves.

It was a fun, light read. If you like your crime bloody and fast with little introspection, this book is for you.

Spider-man 3

2007-05-04T21:01:00.000-07:00

I saw Spider-man 3 tonight and have mixed emotions about the movie. I really wanted to love it. Anyone who knows me or who has read any of my stuff knows that I’m bit of a comic book fan boy. Although my actual collecting is very limited now, I still love seeing all of the comic related movies, especially on opening day.

So I went to the movie yesterday right after work (I really should know better). I had to share the theater with giggling high school boys who didn’t know how to deal with emotional scenes, the parents who brought their talkative children and crying babies, the young couples who had to comment on every action scene (which there is a ton), and the mental midgets who find it necessary to flip open their cell phones every few minutes.

As distracting as all of it was, I pushed it aside for Spidey and my expectations of another great flick. The movie is comprised of five story lines which I’ll try to briefly recap for those non-fan boys out there.

First, Peter Parker (and his Spider-man alter ego) is still dealing with Harry Osborn Jr. who believes Parker killed his father (in the first movie). Peter battles Harry early on in the movie and the consequences are dealt with throughout the film.

Secondly, an escaped convict, Flint Marko, is discovered to have been the one who really murdered Peter’s Uncle Ben. Marko, while running from the cops, climbs the fence of a laboratory that is experimenting on a particle splitting process (if I remember correctly). Marko falls into the sand pit at the center of the test and is transformed via the splitting process into the Sandman. This is another classic comic cliché and you have to accept it for what it is: an explanation for a character to have neat powers.

The third storyline is of an alien symbiote. A meteor crashes in an early scene and a black, liquid-form symbiote attaches itself to Peter’s motor bike and later to Peter resulting in the black Spider-man costume. The symbiote heightens aggression which leads to a Superman 3 type story line. Peter becomes more violent and self-centered until he manages shed the suit.

The fourth storyline is that of Eddie Brock, Peter’s rival at the Daily Bugle. Brock hates Peter especially after Brock is fired from his job due to Peter. When Peter sheds the symbiote suit, it attaches to Brock and he becomes Venom, a more powerful anti-Spider-man.

The final story line deals with Peter’s relationship with Mary Jane. Peter overlooks Mary Jane’s needs early in the movie as he is caught up in the recent publicity of Spider-man. When the symbiote attaches to Peter, he destroys his relationship with her due to his selfishness.

The special effects were pretty good in the movie, although some of them were clearly computer animated such as the battle between Spider-man and Osborn Jr.’s Green Goblin. I talked about this in an earlier post, but it is distracting when computer animation is obvious. The scenes with Sandman and Venom though looked excellent, although the end battle with a giant Sandman is kind of silly.

The movie got too cute with Parker’s self-centeredness due to the symbiote. There is a scene with Peter walking down the street in an almost Saturday Night Fever way. It was ridiculous. Also, Peter attempts to make Mary Jane jealous at a night club and it falls to the Superman 3 level of stupidity and really breaks the flow of the movie.

The story line with Marko / Sandman was pretty nice and the Brock / Venom story line was dark as should be expected. There was a happy ending to the Peter / Harry story which I didn’t hate but certainly didn’t love.

Spider-man 3 had a great deal of story lines to deal with the underlying theme of a man struggling to do what is right versus what he wants. All of the villains help reaffirm this central theme as they give into their base desires. I wish the movie had stayed more consistent with the dark theme (a la Daredevil), but I’m sure a family friendly movie is a better financial bet. By the way it was a helluva a lot better than Ghost Rider.

If you’re a comic book movie fan, I would suggest seeing this movie. It’s worth seeing and I’m sure I’ll add it to my collection when it comes out on DVD. It will give you something to think about, but not much. If you want to see a better comic book movie with the same dark theme, check out the Director’s Cut of Daredevil.

Who Am I?

2007-05-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

As a side-bar to Spider-man 3, I heard a song while I was in the movie theater waiting for the flick to start.

The song, Who Am I? by Lenny Revell is about Spider-man and does not appear on the soundtrack.

I dug the song so much I downloaded it on iTunes this morning. Check it out.

A disappointing Path

2007-04-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

I went and saw Pathfinder today in hopes of seeing another 300. It didn’t happen.

Pathfinder is decent flick (especially at $5 on a Sunday morning), but doesn’t rise above a Conan / 300 knock-off.

The action / fight sequences are great, but the story line is weak. If you are looking for a popcorn flick this summer, this would be alright if you have already checked out 300.

Otherwise, wait for it on DVD.

Grave Descend

2007-04-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

I finished up Grave Descend by John Lange tonight. The book is another in the Hard Case line and sports yet another sexy cover (I love those Hard Case guys).

Grave Descend was a quick, easy read (I finished it in a day) that will go well on lazy, summer day. The writing was tight and the story line well thought out.

Movies, movies, movies Part II

2007-04-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here’s another run down of recently viewed flicks (although this one will be abbreviated due to time):

Three Days of the Condor (1975) is one of my all-time favorite spy flicks. Robert Redford is a CIA analyst who reads books for a living. His job is to find out any information that is being passed through books that have printed through out the world. One afternoon his small department (outside of Langley) is wiped out while he is sent for lunch. When he returns, he discovers the cargnage and goes on the run. He struggles to learn the truth about the assassinations which is tied to one of the reports he filed relating to his job. Government and big oil is behind the actions which ties nicely into current day politics.

I’ve read the book a couple of times and have to recommend that here as well. (Hey, I know this is about movies, but suck it up.)

Coogan’s Bluff (1968) is an okay cop-out-of-water movie. Clint Eastwood plays an Arizona Sheriff chasing down a suspect in New York. Nothing really exciting about this one.

The Memory of a Killer (2005) – This movie blew me away. It is about an aging hitman who is developing Alzheimer’s. There are elements that reminded me of Memento (a great movie in its own right) but the movie certainly stands on its own.

It’s a Belgian movie so be prepared for subtitles. If you can’t handle them, too bad for you. I want to smack people who say “I don’t want to read a movie”. Most of the best films being made today are being made outside this country.

Enough movies. Later.

Movies, movies, movies

2007-04-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if anyone really cares what I think about movies, but I love the damn things and I love sharing my thoughts about them. So since it’s been a while let me recap what I’ve been watching as of late.

Black Caesar (1973) with Fred Williamson. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a fan of 70’s blaxploitation films. I’d wanted to see this one for a while. I was lucky enough to catch it recently on Retroplex (digital cable rules). The movie is a good solid yarn about Tommy Gibbs (Williamson), a Harlem kid who grows up to be Harlem’s big crime boss. The movie is book-ended by two scenes that tie the entire movie together. The opening scene is Tommy as a young boy and helping a hit go down on a local mobster. The closing scene is a wounded Tommy wandering into a rundown portion of Harlem and being confronted by a gang of young boys. The outcome is not happy and makes the impact of the movie that much greater. Check this one out.

The Departed (2006) with Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson, etc. This movie has an all-star cast and an all-star director (Martin Scorsese). It’s a remake of the Japanese Infernal Affairs which itself has gotten rave reviews (I’ve yet to see it, but will soon). Damon is a dirty cop who works for the Irish mafia (led by Nicholson) and DiCaprio is the undercover cop sent in to bring Nicholson to justice.

The acting and directing were top notch. I’m a little indecisive on the ending. While I’m willing to spoil some movies that I know most folks won’t see, I’m sure most of you will end up watching this movie. I will say that I’m okay with the way the movie ended, but believe it would have been better without the righteous justice angle.

Also, there was a clue / potential plot device that was left totally unanswered. I’m not sure if it was done on purpose or whether no one really cared that the angle was left unanswered. It doesn’t spoil the movie, but it did leave me wondering why they didn’t return to it.

Regardless the movie was excellent and I heartily recommend it to anyone.

Stealth (2005) with Josh Lucas, Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel. It’s about a sentient computer fighter plane. Kinda stupid (and that’s putting it nicely). Skip the entire movie except Jessica Biel in a swimsuit. I’ve never been a big fan of hers, but damn that girl can feel out a suit.

Inside Man (2006) with Clive Owen and Denzel Washington, directed by Spike Lee. This movie flat out rocks. Owen plots and executes the perfect bank robbery and Washington is the hostage negotiator who is trying to figure out just what the hell is really going on. This was one of my favorite movies of ’06 and seeing it again on DVD really reminded me how much I loved it. If you get a chance check this out!

A Scanner Darkly (2006) with Keanu Reeves, based on a Philip K. Dick short story. The movie itself looks great, but really didn’t knock me out of my seat. It was worth seeing just for how they filmed it but in the end it was a basic sci-fi flick. If you want to see a better movie based on something Philip K. Dick wrote, check out Blade Runner (based on his novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?). Now, that’s a mind-boggling flick.

Crank (2006) with Jason Statham. First of all, I love (heterosexual fan-boy love, that is) Jason Statham. He is the coolest mo-fo walking through Hollywood in the past 10 years (Clive Owen is the second coolest. Both blokes are British so what does that tell you about Hollywood). Statham was a fuckin’ genius in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and The Italian Job. He was a blast in the Transporter and Transporter 2 although the movies are marginal at the best. You can add Crank into the Transporter bunch. I liked it as a mind-numbing wasted of 90 minutes. If you are looking for something deep, go elsewhere.

Employee of the Month (2006) with Dane Cook, Dax Shepard and Jessica Simpson. Another mindless romantic comedy. I did laugh a few times, but will never watch it again.

Okay, enough for today. Later.

Advice to Cube

2007-04-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or does the fact that Ice Cube is in a sequel to Are We There Yet? (Are We Done Yet? - yup, that’s the title and I’ll ignore the joke) seem really lame.

Cube was a member of the original gangsta rap group, N.W.A. Others in the group were Dr. Dre, MC Wren, DJ Yella and (the late) Eazy E. The group was made famous for their songs Fuck the Police and Straight Outta Compton. I’m man enough to admit I liked a handful of the group’s songs although I’m sure I’ll take some flak from my cop friends out there.

I liked Cube in movies like Trespass, Three Kings and XXX:State of the Union (which was a stupid movie, but Cube was pretty cool), because they were action movies that went along with his gangster background and persona.

Now, he’s doing comedies like Are We Done Yet? and Barbershop. Of course, he’s trying to grow as an artist and an actor so I’ve got to give the guy some slack, but it’s like watching Vin Diesel (XXX, Saving Private Ryan, Fast & The Furious) doing a family comedy like The Pacifier.

Do these guys really need the money that bad? Leave the lame comedies to guys like Steve Martin and Eugene Levy. Both guys used to be super comedic actors but have turned to giving us movies like Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (which both starred in).

The Lives of Others

2007-04-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

If you’ve read this blog in the past (at last count there are five of you kind folks), you know that I am a movie buff. I watch at least three new movies a week, usually on DVD, but occasionally I’ll hit a theater for a new release.

Going out for a movie is getting rarer as I get older and take my movie watching more serious. Oh, sure there are occasional lapses in my movie choices (I watched Ghost Rider a couple of week’s ago, for Pete’s sake), but for the most part I’m not going to waste two hours on a movie unless I believe there is some sort of payoff (whether emotional, intellectual or just straight enjoyment). Hell, I’ve even stopped reading almost any new fiction available at bookstores and just about everything available on the web. But that’s another story I’ll share soon.

The purpose of this blog is to share a great movie experience I had to today. It happened for two reasons: the movie itself and the crowd. Spoiler alert – I’m going to talk openly about this movie so if you want to see it, skip this post.

The Lives of Others (2006) takes place in East Germany in 1984, five years before the Berlin wall crumbled. The Stasi (East Germany’s secret police) assign their best man, Hauptmann Gerd Wiesler to watch over playwright Georg Dreyman. This assignment is driven by Minister Bruno Hempf and his infatuation with Christ-Maria Sieland, Dreyman’s girlfriend. Hempf wants something illegal found on Dreyman so the playwright will be sent to prison thereby removing what he sees as the roadblock to Sieland.

Dreyman is a playwright whose plays are pro-Socialism even though he realizes there are problems with the current system. He doesn’t challenge the Party, however, due to his own fears.

Hauptmann (Captain) Wiesler is a loner but highly efficient in his duties. He is also a believer in the Party and takes on his new assignment with precision. Wiesler immediately bugs Dreyman’s apartment and begins following his subject’s daily life as he and Sieland struggle to remain artists amid the socialist crush of the GDR (German Democratic Republic)

Wiesler’s commander, Oberstleutnant Grubitz, is a career climbing weasel and is using Wiesler to help Hempf. This realization bothers Wiesler as he continues to listen in on Dreyman and Sieland. Wiesler soon softens to the strength of love between the two artists, as his life is devoid of personal friendships. This love is challenged when Sieland is raped by Hempf. Hempf demands to see her again and Sieland complies, knowing full well how much power the Minister has. Dreyman learns of this and pleas with Sieland to stand up against the Minister and the system. She, in turn, asks him what he is doing to stand up against the systems.

Dreyman soon makes the choice to stand up as only a writer can: with printed word. He writes a piece that is secreted out of East Germany and published in West Germany. Wiesler knows of this article, but doesn’t interfere with Dreyman’s plans. When the article is published, it embarrasses the Party and soon all writers, including Dreyman, are suspects.

The climax of the movie results from the Stasi finding out the truth by arresting and interrogating Sieland (at Minister Hempf’s direction). She folds under the pressure and sells out her lover to Wiesler who interrogates her at the direction of Grubitz.

As a raid is planned, Wiesler enters Dreyman’s apartment and hides the evidence of this article. The raid against Dreyman is fruitless and Sieland ends up committing suicide due to her weakness.

The scenery is grey and bleak. The people are mostly the same, although they are divided into two classes: those who fear the Party and those who embrace it. There is an arrogance amongst the Party members. Sometimes it is quiet (as in Wiesler) and sometimes loud (as in Minster Hempf and Oberstleutnant Grubitz), but the arrogance exists. Those who fear the party have the frightened eyes of beaten animals.

I was blown away by the movie (it was the second time that’s happened to me this week) and can’t wait to see it on DVD. It will be an immediate purchase for my collection.

The Lives of Others won an Oscar this year for Best Foreign Language Film of the year. Once you see it (which I highly recommend you do), you will understand why.

Okay, now to the second reason this was one of the most enjoyable movie experience I’ve had: I watched the movie with people who care about movies.

I wandered into the theater about thirty minutes early. I was there alone at 10:15 (it’s only $5 before 12 – budget, people, budget). Over the next thirty minutes another 40 or so folks came into the theater. I was surprised at the size of the audience as I believed the hour, the movie’s content and the sub-titles would mean only a few people would actually show.

Over the next two hours, not a single word was spoken in the theater. Not a single cell phone went off nor did a single vacuous teenager open their cell phone up to text their friends. No one shook a popcorn bag, laughed at inappropriate material (teenager viewers and movie love scenes don’t mix well), or made a nuisance of themselves. These movie goers, who I shared two hours with, were by far the best audience I’ve ever seen.

If every crowd was like it, I would definitely see more movies at the theaters.

This is madness? This is Sparta!

2007-03-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

I played a little hooky from work on Thursday afternoon and went to the movies. I’ll skip the work details that led to my leaving the office, but around 2 o’clock, I called it a day. I’d wanted to see 300 since the first movie trailer came out.

I’d heard some mixed reviews from friends and acquaintances, all based strictly down gender lines. Men loved it while the women hated it. Obviously, that wasn’t enough to dissuade me from going.

300 is Frank Miller’s (Sin City) version of the Battle of Thermopylae between King Leonidas of Sparta (along with 300 of his finest soldiers and supported by 700 Thespian volunteers) and Xerxes of Persia (along with a million plus soldiers and slaves).

While I enjoyed the story, I know most of the story of this historic battle has been “Hollywood-ized” and mythologized since it occurred in 480 BC.

What absolutely blew me away was the filmmaking itself. The last time I watched a movie and realized I was seeing something special in the art of filmmaking was Terminator 2. That was the movie the brought to life the ability to “morph” characters in real time without it looking like a herky-jerky special affect. That affect allowed movies like the Matrix to be made.

300 does that for the next level of filmmaking. Computer images and blue screen filming are seamlessly used so that nothing looks fake. That is definitely harder than it sounds.

I recently watched the entire Star Wars series and realized that the Episodes I-III (the latest films) look cheesy in comparison to Episodes IV-VI (the older films). How is that possible, you ask. Well, the digital effects of the new movies look just like that: digital effects. The older movies used real world effects that made sense and kept the films grounded in a level of realism. I hate to say this because someone will make fun of me, but hopefully you get what I’m saying.

In 300, the effects are superbly done and there is never a point in the movie where I remember thinking “that’s fake” or “I know how they got that shot.” The whole damn thing was mind-boggling in how good it was. Camera angles sweep around soldiers as they fight, time slows and speeds up to emphasis portions of battle, and the whole massive battle actually looks like a massive battle.

I’m planning to see the movie again before it leaves the theater. If you haven’t seen it yet, do so. It will be like the first time you saw Star Wars or Terminator 2. It was for me.

2004 Mustang GT - Sold. Sigh.

2007-03-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

I sold my 2004 Mustang GT (40th Anniversary Edition) a few days ago. Sigh.

I’d been thinking about it lately due to my desire to get completely debt free. Okay, I have a house so I will still have that debt, but I wanted to free myself of the shackles of interest and monthly payments.

On Thursday morning, I took my Mustang in to the local dealership to have the oil changed. When I returned to pick up my car, a salesman approached me and asked me if I wanted to sell my car. I initially told him no because I thought he was trying to sell me a new Mustang. He assured me he wasn’t trying to sell me anything. He had a long time client who was looking for the exact model I had. When he told me that I asked what they would give me for the car.

They appraised the car and came in slightly under what I owed on the car. I had checked the Kelly Blue Book value on it the week prior and it was right in the ball park. I told him if they would pay off the car, I would sell it immediately.

Within an hour, I hold sold my car back to the dealership and was almost debt free.

I was relegated to driving my old 89 GMC S-15, but the debt free plan worked out like a champ.

After leaving the dealership, I went home and transferred funds out of my money market account to payoff my other car. It wiped out the small amount of cash I had, but I went from owing over $23,000 on Thursday morning to owing nothing on Thursday evening.

My safety net was gone, but it was worth the freedom being debt free has brought me.

Diego, baby!

2007-02-10T17:22:00.000-08:00

I was in San Diego a cuople weeks back for a work conference. The weather started off somewhat poor, but was still better than anything Spokane, Washington has to offer at this time of year.

The weather cleared up towards the end of the week and ended up getting into the high 60’s (maybe even the low 70’s). The blue sky was gorgeous and a welcome sight after a couple months of Pacific Northwest winter grey.

I was surprised, though, at how tired Southern California looked (outside of San Diego’s amazing Gas lamp district). The roads were torn up worse than Spokane which is saying something due to our cold weather and studded snow tires. The houses looked dirty and faded which was probably a result of the stucco styling as much as the sun.

Graffiti and garbage were evident everywhere I went (outside of the Dana at Mission Bay – the hotel where the conference was held).

The drivers, for the most part, are insane. No one pays attention to: speed limits, turn signals, complete stops, other driver’s, the laws of physics, etc. I now have a better appreciation for the cliché “California driver.”

I was born in Long Beach and spent a few summers in Chula Vista when I was in grade school. I returned there after high school and my stint in the Army. It’s been almost 15 years since I’ve been back. I enjoyed the weather and visiting my grandmother, but am not tempted to live there. Southern California may be Mecca for some folks, but for me it will always just be a nice place to visit.

I did end up with this bad-ass picture though. It was taken at Mission Beach, about a mile away from my hotel. That's really the whole reason for this post.

Catching Up. Finally.

2007-02-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

So, just what the hell have I been up to since my last post? Well, a whole lot of work, a little bit of fun and not much writing. I’ll break it down for you as best I can.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, It’s Off To Work I Go

Just before Thanksgiving, I had the chance to take over the Colorado / Wyoming region. Unfortunately, when the deal was offered there were certain conditions I couldn’t agree with so I passed. Another gal (let’s call her Opportunity X) jumped immediately at the position so there was no negotiating room left for me. We’ll, get back to Opportunity in just a second. Passing up that offer landed me back in Spokahnistan. Yeah, for me. Pfftthhhp.

I traveled back to Baltimore, Maryland during the first week of 2007 for a job interview. I had a great interview with the VP of that region. I felt confident that I was in a good position to get the job. Unfortunately, I didn’t get it. I have (as do others) a conspiracy theory as to why I didn’t get the job, but I’m not going in to it here.

A couple weeks after the Baltimore trip, I was back in Chicago for a few days to get up to speed as a field-trainer. While I was there I learned I didn’t get the Baltimore gig. At the same time, I also learned that Opportunity X was fired. Oops, she didn’t make it 45 days. Is it too shallow to say if they would have listened to me this whole thing would have been avoided? Regardless, the Colorado / Wyoming job might be back on the horizon. I’ll keep you posted on it, but I’m not getting excited anymore about potential opportunities. I’ve been burned a few times now and I think I’ve finally learned my lesson.

On a more fun note, two weeks ago I flew down to San Diego (see next post) for a West Region meeting.

So in one month, I’ve been to Baltimore, Chicago and San Diego. Two more work trips are coming up. One is our annual conference in Vegas and the other trip isn’t set yet, but it is due to winning a corporate challenge. Both trips will occur before the end of March.

I’ve done a lot of traveling with this company. Just last year alone, I took 17 trips, none shorter than three days and most being for an entire week. That’s a huge amount of time to be gone, but I had a blast with it. I’m hoping I’ll get more chances to travel as the year goes on.

I got obsessed with eBay for a bit during November / December which really ate up a lot of my time. Now, I’m trying to find a way to do a few auctions a week and not overwhelm myself. I need to find that healthy balance.

Also, I’m finally back into the stock market. Outside of retirement planning, I haven’t played much in the stock market since the Army days. I loved playing the market back then and went to college with the expectations of being a stock broker. That never materialized (duh!). Anyway, with my new company I jumped back into the employee stock purchase plan which allows employees to buy the company’s stock at a discounted rate. It’s an awesome deal. A new guy I work with is a former broker and has helped me pick a few other stocks. I’m enjoying watching my money again instead of just throwing it away. It’s a learned trait, trust me, and it is a constant battle to break the habit.

The Sporting Life

My last entry was on November 18th and contained a short blurb about Ohio State beating Michigan for the national title. That was one helluva a game and made me proud to be a life-long Buckeye. Unfortunately, we Coug’d (see WSU history for more accurate detailing of choking the big game) the National Championship to the Florida Gators. We looked horrible and were easily beat.

Thank God, Boise State University provided us with arguably the greatest college game ever when they upset Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. If you missed that game, find a copy of it somewhere. It truly was David (Boise) versus Goliath (Oklahoma). I’m sure a movie will be mad somewhere down the road. The real life story certainly has a Disney quality to it.

The Bears and Colts met in the Super Bowl which was great for me because I am a fan of both teams and their head coaches. It was the first super bowl I’ve watched with pure enjoyment because no matter who won I was going to be happy. The only sad note on the game for me was Rex Grossman (Chicago’s quarterback) didn’t have a better game. I’ve been pulling for that kid all year once the criticism started raining down on him. He stood up like a man and took it, never blaming the team’s play calling or his teammates. I hope he gets another shot next year. He should since he led the Bears to a 15-3 record. Not bad for his first full year as a starter.

The Words of Others

Right now, I’m reading Firebreak by Richard Stark (another Parker novel). I’ll give you the lowdown on it when I’m finished.

I’m also digging into two non-fiction books. First, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace which I’ve read before. It’s a great book on how to get out of debt and save for the future. I don’t have much debt outside of cars (which I still can’t believe I bought) but want to change my spending / saving habits. I’ve gotten sloppy with how I use my money over the past couple of years.

The other book is called Superheroes and Philosophy: Truth, Justice and the Socratic Way. It examines how comic books are creating today’s mythology and how certain messages are conveyed to the readers. It’s an interesting read, but I’m only a quarter of the way through it. I’ll let you know more when I’m finished.

I read a couple of other books during this period of blog hiatus and listened to a book on CD that I’ll eagerly recommend. The books were Rich Dad, Poor Dad and The Cash Flow Quadrant. Both books were written by Robert T. Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter. They changed the way I look at money and have me playing with ideas to put myself into a better financial position for the future.

The book on CD was The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. This book really opened my eyes to the habits of the wealthy. It also makes you realize that a high income and wealth are two separate things and often don’t go hand-in-hand. I love listening to this CD on the way to and from work. It reminds me why I’m working and that I should continue to be vigilant in my attempts to change my financial habits.

The topic of money has become very important to me and I might touch on this in another post.

My eyes have seen the light (of the television screen)

I’ve watched a lot of movies lately. It seems the only brain functions I have left when I get home from work are to mindlessly sit and stare at the television. I’ll just mention a handful here.

One movie really knocked my socks off. The House of Flying Daggers is a Chinese movie with a great story and absolutely beautiful cinematography. If you haven’t seen it yet, give it a chance.

The reason I even gave Flying Daggers a chance was entirely based upon Kung Fu Hustle. This movie is hilarious and an absolutely addictive. I’ve watched it three times now in less than a month’s span. By combining Matrix-like special effects and Bruce Lee fight scenes, the movie is pure gold. It’s got a cartoon-ish quality to it that makes the movie stand alone in its genre. This flick gets my highest recommendation.

Invincible with Mark Wahlberg tells the story of Vince Papale, a 30 year-old substitute teacher and part-time bartender who enters an open try-out with the Philadelphia Eagles in 1976. This is a feel good movie that I’ll definitely watch again. Typing about it reminds me of my all-time favorite feel-good movie, Rocky. I think I’ll watch that again soon.

I’ve also take a spin through Miami Vice with Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx. It’s a good popcorn movie, but if you’re looking for deeper meaning look some place else. On a soundtrack note, the remake of Phil Collins’ In the Air Tonight by Nonpoint is amazing. That’s one of the most played tunes on my iPod now.

The Sound of Keyboard Silence

No new writing. I’ve done some editing on past works, but I’ve really been too busy with some other projects. (See above)

I’ve been feeling the pull of the keyboard everyday though and realized I’ve sat here for the past hour and a half typing out my thoughts. It feels good to finally see my words again. I’m not sure if that rings true for you folks, but this is my blog and it’s all about me, right?

The Funniest Thing I’ve Heard Recently

“Na-na. Nanny-friggin’-boo-boo.”

- Comedian Frank Caliendo impersonating Al Pacino.

Check out his stand-up show the next time he’s on Comedy Central or jump over to iTunes and download it.

---

Okay, that’s it. I probably left out a whole lot, but you weren’t interested in this crap when you started reading so why should we continue this whole charade right?

Go Bukeyes!

2006-11-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

Ohio State 42-39 over Michgan in an instant classic!

Scarlet and Grey, baby!

From the files of “What the f@%k?”

2006-11-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

It appears our government has given a grant to some schmuck to study the “snowbird culture” in Arizona and California.

The article detailing this goofiness appeared in this morning’s Spokesman-Review. You can check it out here: http://www.spokesmanreview.com/features/story.asp?ID=160190

It seems that Stephen Chalmers, a Washington State University professor, was given a grant to study snowbirds, those elderly folks who split their time between states like Washington and Arizona so they can avoid the cold winters or hot summers.

Chalmers will spend four weeks in December traveling around in Arizona and California to talk and photograph snowbirds. He is hoping to learn about the culture of this phenomenon. When he returns he will create an exhibit of what he learned.

It sounds like our government just paid for this schmuck’s vacation.

Is he serious?

Is our government really this stupid?

Anyone with half a brain can define the snowbird culture. We’ve all had grandparents or at least spent some time around the elderly. Here, let me define the culture for you.

They are old people who don’t like the extreme cold or the extreme heat.

When they get where they are going they set up their RVs or houses (depending upon their personal wealth).

They will fill their daily lives with eating Nilla Wafers, complaining about the kids of today and wishing for a return to the values the country held when they were young.

If you put an old Tommy Dorsey CD on a small player in the kitchen with the smell of burnt coffee brewing, you’ve completed the scene.

When the weather turns extreme, they leave and head back to where they came from.

Culture defined. $0 spent on this shyster’s vacation by our amazingly stupid government.

Man, I can’t believe our government would fund something like this. What a crock.

This country is in need of a revolution.

Casino Royale

2006-11-17T22:29:00.000-08:00

From the moment the movie started in black and white and followed up with the old studio logo, I knew Casino Royale would be a different type of James Bond movie.

I’ve been a fan of James Bond as a kid. When A View to a Kill (Roger Moore) came out in 1985, I saw it on the first day of its release. Since then I’ve attending every opening night of a James Bond move.

I’ve read all of the Bond novels that Ian Fleming wrote. They are masterpieces and I will still occasionally dip into one. I’ve even read a few of the novels written by John Gardner after he was commissioned to take Bond into new adventures. Those novels were okay, but nothing like the originals.

In those original stories, James Bond was a tough, bastard with a coldness at his core. He wasn’t a quip-master, a pussy hound or an agent totally reliant on laser watches or rocket packs. He used his wits and his brawn to accomplish whatever mission he was assigned.

Many men have portrayed James Bond on the silver screen: Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and now Daniel Craig.

Just for a slice of trivia, the first appearance of James Bond on film was Casino Royale, a live television movie which first aired in 1954. It starred Barry Nelson as an American James Bond.

By the way, if you want to remind me that David Niven and Woody Allen took a turn as 007 in the dreadful 1967 spoof Casino Royale, I will smack you across the mouth and send you home with no Bond.

Everyone says Sean Connery was the best Bond ever and he did set the standard with From Russia with Love. He appeared in six official Bond movies. He made five movies before taking a one movie break after the dreadful You Only Live Twice.

George Lazenby took a tolerable one-movie turn as Bond in Her Majesty’s Secret Service before Connery returned in Diamonds Are Favor. I’ve always thought Connery looked like an old Bond trying to play a young man’s game in Diamonds. He would later follow that up twelve years later with the “non-official” Bond movie, Never Say Never where he really was an old man trying to play Bond.

Roger Moore started his Bond career off in Live and Let Die which was a great Bond movie, regardless of its need for gadgetry. However, Moore never returned to that level and ended up making Bond a rather cheeky bastard and almost spoof-like at times. Moore appeared in seven Bond movies and (like Connery) in the end looked like an old man trying to play a young Bond.

Timothy Dalton was the next to accept the 007 mantle in The Living Daylights and he brought a seriousness back to the Bond franchise. Again, there were the requisite quips and gadgets, but an underlying coldness could be seen coming back into the Bond character. He was replaced after two movies by Pierce Brosnan.

Brosnan’s first turn at Bond was the highly memorable Goldeneye. I loved every minute of the movie and remember thinking his fight with Sean Bean (006) in an enclosed control room was one of the best ever.

Brosnan returned for two solid movies Tomorrow Never Dies and The World is Not Enough. Both of those movies showed Bond becoming more cold and ruthless amid the little jokes and the high-tech toys. Die Another Die, Brosnan’s final turn as Bond was an amazing movie with one of the best opening sequences to date. It also placed Bond as a prisoner in North Korea who is tortured for almost a year before he is traded to the British government in exchange for one of the movie’s villains. That placed Bond in a realistic hostage position as opposed to being strapped to a slab of gold while a laser traces its way towards his crotch (Goldfinger, folks, keep up).

Brosnan had become, in my humble opinion, the best Bond.

So, with that history I went to see Casino Royale with Daniel Craig taking over as Bond. I didn’t know what to expect beyond a very stylish and exciting movie trailer. I'd seen Craig before in Road to Perdition, Munich and Layer Cake. I wasn't sure if he could replace my fanboy love of Brosnan, but I went to the movie with open arms none-the-less.

It ended up being a jaw dropping experience and has this Bond aficionado firmly saying this is the best Bond movie since From Russia with Love and could arguably be the best Bond film ever.

The movie takes Bond back to his first mission as a “00”, the special moniker given to those British agents with a license to kill.

In fact the opening sequence is dark and gritty, nothing at all like the large flashy openings of its predecessors. It clearly shows Bond earning his ‘00’ status and that his kills weren’t always slick and easy.

Shortly after that, Bond is on assignment and trailing a terrorist bomb maker in a small African country. The terrorist realizes he is being followed and Bond gives chase. This scene alone could easily be the greatest foot pursuit ever filmed. The chase runs through the streets, buildings, construction sites and finally an embassy protecting the terrorist. When the chase was done, I found myself shaking my head at what I had just witnessed on screen. It was amazing.

The movie continues on with the same level of grit and darkness that it started with. Bond never tosses a quip after killing someone. His technology is limited to a GPS system on his cell phone and a portable defibrillator in his car. Bond relies more on brute strength (M refers to him as a blunt instrument earlier in the movie) and common weapons (knives and hand guns) to achieve his deadly results.

There is also a particulary brutal tortue scene with Bond and the movie's villian. I don't want to give it away, but the entire movie theater was gringing. It made Bond more real than ever before.

It is obvious from this post that I am gushing over this movie. I’m not even trying to hide that fact. I am so blown away by this movie that I am going to see it again this week. It has reaffirmed my excitement about Bond.

There is only one problem. I’m afraid the old Bond films will lose their luster compared to Casino Royale. Regardless, if I could only have one Bond movie, this one would be it.

Not much writin' goin' on here

2006-11-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

Nothing new to report at this time. With my recent travels to Denver, I haven’t spent much time writing.

But two stories are appearing this month in e-publications.

Ticket Out is appearing at Demolition while Anonymous O’Brien and the Superior Taco found a home at Crime & Suspense.

If you get a chance, check them out.

The Internet Petri Dish update

2006-11-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

I’ve been buried under a fair amount of work and travel lately. Due to that, I’d forgotten about my little science project “The Internet Petri Dish.”

I checked on it today and I’m proud to report the first pieces of bacteria have appeared. They are germinating nicely and are spawning new pieces daily.

I started the project on August 19th of this year. In less than two months, the spam bots have found the forum. I’m excited in a very perverse way.

It’s a helluva lot more fun to see the spam hitting the Petri Dish instead of appearing on my old blog or over at A Cruel World.

Do you like crime fiction?

2006-10-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the release date for The Ex-Factor, an anthology based around the theme of bad ex’s getting their just rewards. Two of my short stories (The Big Blonde and Loyalty Lost) appear in the anthology. Also appearing in the anthology is my friend, Frank Zafiro.

Frank talked me into making several appearances with him at some of our local bookstores. One thing that Frank does very well is promote his book and the other anthologies his stories appear in. He never stops selling. The guy has author signings almost every weekend throughout the Pacific Northwest.

Last night, Frank and I did our first appearance in support of The Ex-Factor. I enjoyed spending some time with Frank and talking with interested shoppers. We were there for three hours and sold only three books. But the process was interesting and I got to hear Frank’s sales pitch which almost always begins with “Do you like crime fiction?” He sold a few copies of his book, Under a Raging Moon, which made him happy.

I’d like to adopt Frank’s attitude of hustle in regards to writing. I’ve always been adverse to submitting my finished work. I don’t enjoy that part of the game, but I do like having my stuff read by others. It’s a catch-22 that I’m going to need to get over soon.

We’ve got another appearance tonight so we’ll see how that goes. Even if we don’t sell a copy, I’ll have spent some time with a friend that I don’t see as often as I should.

Double Indemnity

2006-10-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

Speaking of movies, I watched Double Indemnity with Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck and Edward G. Robinson. The movie is classic film noir and features MacMurray as an insurance salesman who falls for Stanwyck. There are two problems: 1) Stanwyck’s husband who the lovers murder; and 2) Robinson who plays a crackerjack insurance investigator. Robinson digs into the murder because of an insurance payout to Stanwyck on behalf of the deceased husband’s insurance policy.

The dialogue was crisp and the movie was a knock-out. I’ll probably watch it again in a week or two because I was so impressed by it. If you’ve never seen this movie, take the time to check it out. You won’t be sorry.

Cleopatra Jones, Tamara Dobson

2006-10-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

A while ago I wrote an entry about several Blaxploitation movies including Cleopatra Jones. The star, Tamara Dobson, was a knock out and made the movie enjoyable. I read in the newspaper this morning that she passed away. I was bummed when I saw it because I have just begun to discover the blaxploitation films of the 70s (as well as the film noir movies of the 40s and 50s).
If you get a chance to check out Cleopatra Jones, do it.

The EX Factor

2006-10-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Here’s the cover for The EX Factor. It’s a short story anthology coming out this month and I have a couple short stories included. Also, my friend Frank Zafiro will have three stories in the anthology.

All stories revolve around “Justified endings for bad EXes.”

Look for it soon.

Anonymous O'Brien

2006-10-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

My short story, Anonymous O’Brien and the Superior Taco will appear in the November issue of Crime and Suspense. The story has been one of my favorites since it’s totally tongue in cheek and allowed me to move away from my darker side.

Anonymous O’Brien inhabits a world where he realizes he is a fictional character. No one else in the story realizes their fictional status except him. He will often refer to strange occurrences or situations as being from the hand of “the Author.”

Anonymous grew out of my fascination with the word. I used to think how cool it would be to name a kid Anonymous so he could get all of the credit for a plethora of poems, sayings, etc. I also thought Anonymous sounded somewhat Irish so you could say you were trying to honor a national heritage by giving your kid that name. Since I didn’t have a kid to name (and I would never think of naming a dog that – it would be seriously un-cool for the dog), I had to create a fictional character. Thus, Anonymous O’Brien was born.

The original idea for Superior Taco came from a funny experience which I don’t want to discuss here since it is the major clue in the story. Read it when it comes out and then you’ll know.

If you dig it, let me know. If not, keep it to yourself. No one likes a buzz kill.

It's hard bein' a dog owner, part ii

2006-10-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

Last week, I had to put down Shelby. Her cancer had gotten so advance that the lymph nodes in her neck had swollen to almost the size of golf balls. It affected her appetite as well as her ability to breath. It was a very tough to take her to the vet, knowing full well what was going to happen.

I had planned on staying with her through the euthanasia process, but in the end I stepped out of the room. She was very calm and looking at me with her brown eyes which caused me to breakdown. I had tried to steel myself and be in control, but that obviously didn’t happen. I’m not sure I will ever get another dog (I still have Brisco) after experiencing the last month. It was something I know millions of people have gone through, but it affected me more than I would have imagined.

Lemons Never Lie

2006-09-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Richard Stark’s (aka Donald E. Westlake) Lemons Never Lie and am totally blown away. Stark never, and I mean never, fails to impress the hell out of me.

The book, originally published in 1971, was republished by Hard Case Crime. Man, these guys are really picking some great stories / authors. If you haven’t read anything from them yet, I highly recommend it (except for Stephen King’s The Colorado Kid).

A Cruel World, the end?

2006-09-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I published the 10th issue of A Cruel World. I started the little e-zine almost two years ago as a way to get more hardcore crime fiction on the internet.

Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way over the past year and the fire I once had for the project has faded. It was taking increasingly longer to read all the submissions we were getting and I wasn’t responding as quick as I wanted to. It wasn’t fair to the those who submitted their work and it ended up adding to my loss of motivation to keep the project going.

As a result, I have decided to quit publishing ACW. I’ve left the door open for someone else to run the e-zine and have already gotten a couple responses. I’m not sure where that will go, but it may keep ACW around in the future. As for my role, that remains to be seen.

Thanks

2006-09-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Many folks have touched base with me about my Beagle, Shelby. I appreciate all of your kind words during this time.

She still has moments of happiness, but is tired most of the time. I have another call with the Vet this week to determine where things are at this time.

It's hard bein' a dog owner

2006-09-09T08:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I got a dog
and he’s got a bone
he got a bone he wants to pick with me

I got a house
and he’s got a home
long as that dog wants to live with me

He’s got the bowl
and I’ve got the water
he’s got my whole backyard

and it ain’t that hard being a dog, mama
it sure is hard bein’ a dog owner

- Dog Owner, The Cary Fly Band

Those are lyrics to a great blues / rock song Dog Owner by Cary Fly and his band. The words are hitting me pretty hard this week, though. I found out my beagle, Shelby, has lymphoma or cancer of the lymph nodes. It’s a terminal form of cancer and, unfortunately, once you’ve discovered it in your dog, it’s too late.

The Vet said Shelby has one maybe two months to live. She said there are a couple of options for Shelby but that it won’t really help her quality of life (it could actually make it worse) and will only extend her life for a short period. She reminded me, albeit gently, that the cancer is terminal and Shelby’s pain will increase as the disease progresses.

I discovered the glands in her neck appeared to be very swollen over the Labor Day weekend. She seemed to be somewhat lethargic compared to her normal self. Over the past 7 years Shelby has been a buddy and pest to my other dog, Brisco. During the weekend, though, she wandered slowly around the house and it was Brisco’s turn to be a pest. He followed her everywhere, not letting her be alone while she was in the house. I’m sure he can sense something is wrong with Shelby.

It’s sad that it’s happening and I’ve never had to face something like this before. The dogs I had as a child were always my dad’s responsibility if something bad was to happen. I know we had a dog put down when I was young, but dad took care of it. The two dogs we had while I was in high school lived to a ripe old age and dad had to put them to sleep when they were too old and their health was failing. But I was long out of the house and never faced it.

So, here I am at 37 and facing the death of a pet for the first time. It’s really screwed me up in the head. I remember holding Shelby for the first time when she was barely as big as my hand. When Brisco saw her after I brought her home, he hit the ground and watched her with eyes filled with excitement. With all of the nice memories are those memories of getting mad when she knocked over my trash can when she went dumpster diving or when she chewed on something long after the cute puppy stage was gone. It seems the older I get the more regret I carry with me.

It feels weird that I’m dealing with this for the first time at my age. When I started thinking about it, I haven’t had any immediate family members or close friends pass away. My grandfathers did when I was younger, but I was little and didn’t have time for the connections that maturity would surely have brought. I saw death many times while as a police officer and always had a shield of emotional distance with me.

I thought about writing this for the past couple of days, but got choked up each time I thought about it. Even now, with my fingers on the keyboard, I’m having a tough time.

My plan is to enjoy the time I have left with her and try and keep her as comfortable as possible. When the time comes, I hope I’ll know how to handle it appropriately.

If you want some more information on lymphoma, you can find it here.

A Vision in Autumn

2006-08-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

My short story, "A Vision in Autumn", is appearing now at The Green Muse. Make sure you get over there and check it out. I’m a little behind in bringing you up to speed.

86th Street in Chinese

2006-08-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

A lot of interest has been gained from my short story 86th Street and the Summer of Love. I received an email from one reader (a teacher) who said he liked the story so much he recommended all of his students read the story. Another reader said they enjoyed the story so much they used as part of a report in their high school class.

The most recent inquiry was from a woman who lives in Qingdao, China. She approached me and asked if she could translate the story into Chinese. After doing so, she is now seeking publication of the story. It was a neat process to be a part of as she worked through many of the descriptions / phrases we take for granted but seemed to be a little tough to translate.

Anyway, let me know if you want to see a copy.

86th Street Update

2006-08-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, here are bunch of comments left at East of the Web for my short story, 86th Street and the Summer of Love. Here’s the latest batch (you can see them in their entirety at East of the Web or scattered several posts from the past year). I haven’t corrected any spelling / grammatical errors.

Posted 2006-05-09 10:53:00

I enjoyed this piece and thought that it was well-written for the most part. I agree with an earlier comment that the story could have ended sooner with 'thanks'. Good subject.

Posted 2006-05-22 11:36:14

the person telling the story nedds to say his own name at least once i think besides that it was a pretty good story.

Posted 2006-05-23 21:24:41

This was a fun story. Not for many of the characters, but if you grow up poor and only have friends, you can really understand where the author is coming from. Peer pressure is a bitch. Too bad we dont realize how weak we are when we are acting tough.

Posted 2006-05-26 10:46:47

This story has a great beginning but at the end it drags out a little and could have been ended earlier. But the way it has two stories paralleling each other is good.

Posted 2006-06-07 23:20:54

Gripping, gruesome, beautiful resolution.. thank you

Posted 2006-06-08 06:29:06

good story. highlights the state that the youths of this generation are in: innocence long-gone. them getting involved in gangs and street fights, as well as experiencing lost lives of loved ones and all. kudos to the author. – oz

Posted 2006-06-26 15:34:23

This is a great story i saw it and started reading it and i got all into it and i enjoyed it to the last word. this is a great authur he or she can write really well.

Posted 2006-07-06 12:39:32

I'm amazed no-one said it kinda revelled in cowardly bullying:4/5 attacking one isn't a fight, but sheer brutal cruelty that made me wanna smash those scum

Posted 2006-07-13 16:49:12

very good i loved it!!

Posted 2006-07-15 10:36:18

A reviewer once wrote about a piece of writing (not this one) that "Underneath all the muck and mire, something sings." Nothing "sings" in this piece of work. It is about bullies who pick on a defenseless kid, applying their own rules and humiliating a kid who has been humiliated too much. Kind of like shooting civilians in Mai Lai who just happened to be there.

Posted 2006-07-18 15:13:36

one of the best short stories I ever read

Posted 2006-07-28 10:42:47

This story is excellent. It makes me want to know more about Mike. For example, how he came into the group, what happened to him after the fight against them.

Posted 2006-08-03 13:11:37

Some of the descriptions made me really feel sick - the genital injuries mostly. Up until then, the storyline flowed well, with the neighborhood and Vietnam war well depicted in the background. However, the nauseating pulp fiction-like violence is the only lasting impression in my mind.

Posted 2006-08-17 08:29:35

Unlike most of the others commenting on this story I thought it was horrible. Mindless violence. Too much emphasis on the horrors and too little on the actual story line. Disappointing. The only thoughts it raised was why someone would choose to write such rubbish and encourage others to violence.

Posted 2006-08-18 14:15:07

Right from the very beginning fantastic, gritting, on the edge of your seat stuff. Incredibly descriptive...for a moment I was there.

Posted 2006-08-19 10:29:03

gr8

Posted 2006-08-20 21:03:55

I didn't find it encouraged others to do violence at all. Merely brought you into the violence in this young adults life. It wasn't the best story I've read, but it was good.

Posted 2006-08-22 17:04:41

Though it summed up teenage relationships very accurately.

Posted 2006-08-23 15:42:16

da story waz gud

Posted 2006-08-25 05:57:29

sik story man.. who eva wrote diz iz brilliant

A Civil War

2006-08-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

I started reading A Civil War: Army vs. Navy by John Feinstein. The book chronicles one year in the life of the Army and Navy football programs. These programs meet each year in the last game of the season. It is one of the most storied games in college football.

The annual game has increasingly meant more to me over the years.

I entered the U.S. Army at 18 and gave them four years of my life. At the time, I had fun with the guys I served with but hated the military and its way of life. I was frustrated by supervisors who were less educated than I was and decisions that seemed stupid to me. With only a high school diploma, I was already an ass and thinking I knew everything in the world (as do most teenagers). I couldn’t wait to get out, go to college and get on with my life.

I chose the Army for two reasons. The first reason was it was a ticket to college. My parents couldn’t afford to send me since I had wasted my time in high school and not secured a scholarship anywhere. The G.I. Bill and Army College Fund were damn nice incentives for me to raise my hand for Uncle Sam. During my tour, I was always thinking about the time when I would get out. I don’t remember stopping to enjoy what I had, what I was doing and who I was hanging out with. Unfortunately, that seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.

The second reason I chose the Army was to piss off my dad. At the time, my father and I had a very tenuous relationship. I loved him and hated him at the same time. My dad was a Navy man and I wouldn’t follow in his footsteps, just to display some of my displeasure at his rules. See, I told you I was an ass as a teenager.

My dad spent eight years in the Navy during the mid-60s to early 70s. He loved it, but got out because of my brother and me. He wanted a family, but it’s a little tough to be a dad and be away for months at a time. A lot of men (and women) have done it, but my dad made the sacrifice to leave the Navy and watch my brother and I grow up. It’s a decision I’m sure he would consider changing if God ever gave him the chance to do it over again.

While I was stationed in Germany, my dad sent me a newspaper article that Navy had beaten Army in the annual game. I took the jab with a good humor and even wore a U.S. Navy grey t-shirt he sent me to formation. That went over like a turd in a punchbowl with my Sergeants. I wore the t-shirt as more a way to stick my thumb in the Army’s eye than to honor my father. Not only was I an ass at this time, I wasn’t very smart either.

After leaving the Army and adding a few years to my life, I began to realize I was a fool. Not so much for leaving the Army (although at 37 years-old I would be old enough to retire next year), but rather I was a fool for not enjoying those moments more. But my age now and the time I spent serving my country did make one thing happen, it helped me grow closer to my dad.

So, back to the Army-Navy game and the gist of this entry. Over the past decade my dad and I have watched the historic game, but we’ve never had the chance to see it together. One of us (the winning team’s supporter) will call the other at some point just to make sure a jab is given. Unfortunately, it’s been my team who has taken a smack lately from the Navy fellas.

I bought my dad a Navy Midshipmen baseball hat a few years ago and I got a similar Army Black Knights cap. I’ve worn my hate during the games since then and hope my dad does the same.

At the end of the games, both teams will stand together at attention as the other school’s military anthem is played. The show of respect from both sides at the end of the game is what makes the game even more special. Hopefully, the Army-Navy game is the metaphor I’ve been striving for with my dad.

Stingray

2006-08-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

In 1986, I was seventeen years old and infatuated with the television show, Stingray. The show centered on Ray, a mystery man who helped others in every episode. His payment and the hook of the show was “a favor.” If you asked for his help, Ray would require a favor in return at some unnamed place or time. He would use the favor to help someone else in need. Nick Mancuso played the lead role and drove the show’s namesake, a 1965 Corvette Stingray. The show only lasted two seasons.

I have waited anxiously for Stingray to be released on DVD. Unfortunately, that day hasn’t come (yet). However, I did manage to get a bootleg DVD on e-Bay that contained all 23 episodes and the 2 hour pilot. The quality is moderately good as it is obviously a VHS transfer. There are occasional glitches from the pause / release effect around the edited-out commercials. Normally, this would drive me crazy (being a movie freak) but I ignored it all because I was immensely thankful to have the series in my possession.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve watched every episode. A lot of memories were brought back for me. I remembered many of the episodes, but there were additional memories that flooded back to me. I thought back to the house my family lived in and the basement family room I watched Stingray in. The fashions and fads of the 80s were on display. The synthesizer-heavy pop music of the period was also in the background of every episode.

NERD ALERT. Ray was an expert in computers. I remember loving this fact about the character because most adults (I thought) during the 80s didn’t seem to “get” computers. The computers were treated almost reverently in the episodes, capable of providing information and help if the user only knew how to provide the right key strokes. Watching the shows now though, it is clear the directors (of which the show had many) didn’t have a clue of how a real computer would respond or how a real search command would be entered. I know, I know, I’m a big old geek to hang up on that. I have the same problem with WarGames and Matthew Broderick’s playing of Galaga. END NERD ALERT.

Back to Stingray. In watching the show as an adult, I realized it was darker than I remembered which really geeked me up. I’m a fan of dark, crime fiction and so much of 80s television featured crime / action shows with a happy ending. The conclusions of many Stingray episodes were actually depressing. Again, that made me oddly happy.

Even though a 1965 Stingray was featured in the show, there really wasn’t a lot of car chases. Again, goofy car chases appeared in weekly 80s television shows such as The A-Team, Magnum P.I., etc. In mentally reviewing the last few weeks of episodes, I can only remember car chases in the pilot (a helicopter was chasing the car) and the last episode.

I loved watching the series again although the last few episodes were weak in comparison to the rest of the series. This wasn’t Mancuso’s fault though as he continued to portray Ray as he should. The writing of the show seemed to slip in the last few episodes which is shame.

Nick Mancuso was a stud in the show. His character often took on different personas to help someone in trouble. He had a calm demeanor that radiated coolness. Even now, I look at Mancuso and his character with wide-eyed envy.

The show never really caught on with the masses, although my friends and I loved it rabidly. There are only a handful of shows from the 80s which I geek out about and Stingray is the top of the list.

I would recommend you rush out and buy the show, but the Hollywood mucky-mucks haven’t put it out yet. I guess you’ll need to go the route I went and pick up a bootleg copy.

Work woes

2006-08-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

There is potential of a promotion in the near future for me, but the information flow about this opportunity has been turned off. What once was a steady stream of communication about the prospect was slowly reduced to a trickle and has now become a painstakingly slow drip. It has left me with a feeling of isolation and frustration.

Last month, I was asked by my boss’ boss to take on several research projects that required getting information from my peers and the region’s vice-presidents. Two of the projects regarded searching for information on how my peers and I are handling a couple of problems. The third project is to determine the 2007 goal numbers for our entire region. I was told the projects were exercises to demonstrate my critical thinking.

Unfortunately, this has made me a black sheep among some of my peers who see these projects as a result of sucking-up. That’s pretty tough to take for a guy who has always based my success on results rather than relationships. I was #1 in the company for sales productivity in the first quarter and slipped to #3 at the end of the second quarter. I'm very of this success especially in light of the market I’m in. I have worked my ass off to get on the radar screen for a promotion. Now my peers are degrading the work I’ve done by claiming I’ve been kissing ass. I’ve often been accused of being politically incorrect and arguing with supervisors and peers. I find it interesting that now, when things are looking up for me, that the people I work with would start taking their shots at me by saying I’m sucking-up and being political.

Some of the VPs on the other hand feel threatened by the loss of control in the goals process and have taken to bashing me privately while questioning my involvement publicly (in their conference calls). I’m trying to be calm when they ask sarcastic questions or a cutting joke is made. I want to fight back, but I’m not in a position to do so. If I happened to be at the same level as they were, I would bite back. Instead, I take it, waiting for my opportunity. What they don’t realize is that the numbers they are giving me reveal clearly whether they are sand-bagging or being honest on their goals. It’ll be interesting to hear everyone’s thoughts when I submit the project. To those honest VPs, I’m sure they will appreciate what I’ve done. To those who are sandbagging, I’ll be thrown under the bus so fast that I’ll never know what hit me. But it will be worth it.

It’s obvious that those who are sandbagging are making the most noise. The sandbaggers are often rewarded with large bonuses when they surpass their annual numbers. Any time something happens in the world, we must remember to follow the money. It’s very true in this situation.

To say the least, this has made the last week couple of weeks kind of disappointing. I’m to the point where I am losing faith that something good is actually going to happen for me in my current region. It’s very depressing for someone who is as big a company man as I am.

Freakonomics

2006-08-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I finished reading “Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything” by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. Levitt is the economist and Dubner is the journalist friend who helped put the book together.

The book has no underlying theme (which the authors readily agree), but rather exposes some very interesting realities with the help of some economic theories.

For example, Levitt makes the rather compelling argument that the decrease in crime during the 1990s was not attributed to community oriented policing, new jails or additional government grants for police departments. Instead, he argues that the decrease in crime was due to the legalization of abortion following the Roe v. Wade ruling. I know, I know, this will upset some of you, but take a look at Levitt’s argument before flying off the handle. He does a good job of not taking a stand on either side of the abortion issue, but rather suggests that we need to look beyond the simple explanations that make us feel good and discover the truth.

Another interesting chapter dealt with the question: Why do drug dealers still live with their moms? Levitt uses the help / research of another economist who befriended a member of the Chicago Black Gangster Disciples gang during the crack explosion of the early nineties and learned the ins-and-outs of gang finances. I always knew that the lowly pushers made less than the “leaders”, but it was amazing to see just how poorly wealth is distributed among the gang members. Levitt doesn’t preach against drugs (although it is very clear he is anti-crack as well as other forms of illegal narcotics). Instead, he uses the available information to give us an inside view of how money is actually made and divided among the gang hierarchy.

Are you interested yet?

Here was a fascinating topic: How important are parents in raising children and affecting their test scores? Ouch, I know some of you just slapped your keyboards and immediately got defensive. But take some time and read the findings about parental impact on school testing. In a simplistic explanation (and what more would you expect from me), it is more important who parents are rather than what they do. For example, if you are well-educated, your child will likely model that behavior regardless of turning off the television (which doesn’t really impact a child’s test scores) or playing Mozart when they are babies (which does zip for little Johnny).

Levitt follows up his parental topic with another related question: Do black parents hurt their children’s chances of economic success by giving their children “black” names? This topic might cause you some uneasiness, but if you read Levitt’s argument, the fact is that the names have little impact on the children. Instead it gets back to who the parents are (or what they are modeling). Levitt (using a study from another economist friend) shows the most popular names in 1990s among California parents of various economic levels and then whittles it down further. The finding is that creative or made-up ethnocentric names are given by poorly educated, low-income, unmarried women. Who the mother is is more important than the name she gives her child. Obviously, there are folks (regardless of color) who are able to rise out of poverty and climb the socio-economic ladder. But Levitt’s argument is that children are born with one strike against them, not by their name, but how their parents live their own lives. He makes the argument that your child’s future is decided before they are ever born by how you lived your life prior to their arrival.

There are several other concepts and case studies in the book that really got my synapses firing. It’s a very easy read, especially in light of the word “economist” in the title.

If you get a chance, pick it up and take a look at the world through different eyes.

The Internet Petri Dish

2006-08-19T10:59:00.000-07:00

I finally had enough of spam and the sleazy spammers behind it.

It all started this morning when I went to do a little maintenance on my e-zine, A Cruel World. When I checked the forum it was overwhelmed with spam. In less than a month’s time (the last time I checked the forum), over a hundred pieces of spam were placed on the site.

This was on the heels of being spammed to death on my previous blog. If you’ve read any of the earlier posts, you know that I fought a losing battle with spam. That’s what led me to my current blog location, which hopefully will help me avoid spammers in the future.

Anyway, I blew my stack (which if I have to blow anything is the one thing I will blow), and created The Internet Petri Dish.

Is it stupid? Sure.
Is it a waste of time? Of course.
Did it make me feel better? Yep, and that’s all that counts. I’m a selfish lover, too. Get over it.

So what is the Internet Petri Dish? Simply put, it is bait for spammers. It is a fake forum which I hope will soon be over run with the worthless crap that spammers push out. It’s a science project from a guy who is a couple bricks short of a full load.

Why do it? I figured why not waste their time (after I wasted mine creating the site) and get a good laugh at their expense. If I want the spam, I’m not going to tip over when it shows up, right? It’s a variation on the old theme of “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

It’s going to take a while for the Petri Dish to start collecting anything but why not jump over and get a load of my science project. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Unless of course, you say I’m stupid and then I’ll just spam the hell out of your site.

The Internet Petri Dish

A New Day

2006-08-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

The Way of the Con blog is dead.

Long live The Way of the Con blog.

Over the past year and half, I’ve sporadically commented, updated and ranted in the blog space provided by my internet provider. Unfortunately, I was attacked by spammers who used the comment section of the blog to advertise their wares. At first, I tried to delete all of their entries, but it got to the point were I was receiving so many spam comments that I spent more time cleaning up the blog than actually blogging. Faced with that reality, I deleted the comment section entirely.

I won the battle but lost the war.

Blogs aren’t only a forum to express one’s ideas, but also a place where people can offer their opinions, whether pro or con. By deleting the comment section on my old blog, I reduced the effectiveness of the tool. I also felt like a commentator who opines openly but won’t listen to the feedback of others paints an image of being afraid to have his ideas challenged. That’s not me.

Enter an old friend, Dave, who sent me an email to say he occasionally checked out my website and to check out his blog. Well, I did just that and enjoyed his writing and opinions (see his blog, Student of the Force, listed on the right). I also found myself marveling at his blog format.

I did some checking and found out that his blog’s provider (Blogger) required “word authentication” when commenting as a way to detour spam. I got so excited that I made the immediate decision to move my blog over to Blogger.

I wanted to do it right so I moved all of my previous blog posts over. It took some time but in the end I think it was worth it. I hope this will spark some interest in previous posts by new visitors, but will also show a level of professionalism. I may not be the most famous blogger or writer you’ve ever heard of, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t work for a great first impression.

There are many new blog ideas rolling around in my brain pan right now. I’ll try to crank them out to provide a little mental candy to all you visitors.

I’m also motivated to return to my website’s original format. It was originally black to correspond with the dark themes my stories often are built around. I lightened it up to match the blog (again trying for some consistent professionalism). While it looked nice, it never really felt like home. Let’s see if I can correct that.

Anyway, the new blog is up. Glad to see you here.

Mickey Spillane

2006-07-17T19:17:00.000-07:00

Mickey Spillane (03/9/1918 - 07/17/2006)

The great Mickey Spillane passed away today at 88 years old. He was one of the best. I don’t need to say much beyond that.

Nu tatoue by Herve Lewis

2006-07-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

A month or so ago, I found this picture on a post card when I was walking through the Nob Hill area of Portland. It really blew me away and I had to buy it. It’s one of the sexiest pictures I’ve ever seen. I can’t explain why. Maybe it is the tatoo (I have a thing for women who have them). Maybe it is the black and white arrangement (which gives it an element of cool). Maybe it is the fact that her hair is hiding her eyes, but leaving her lips and ears (which are sexy in their own right) exposed. Anyay, I thought I would share the picutre with you.

The artist who took the picture is Herve Lewis. You can see more of his photography at his website: http://www.hervelewis.com/Check it out.

Tasty Chicago

2006-07-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

Following a long 4th of July weekend, I flew to Chicago on Thursday and got home this morning. It was a business trip for the first two days, but I spent Saturday in Chicago.

Man, I love that city. The energy is amazing, the architecture is cool and the whole place just makes me crazy with ideas. I’ve got a few new story concepts from the trip which I’ll start work on soon. Hopefully, I can get something to grow from them.

While I was there I went to the Taste of Chicago. It’s a 10-day food and music extravagance in beautiful Grant Park. The variety of food was mind-boggling, the size of the production was staggering and various types of live music could be heard as I moved through the event. The sun was shining and the view of the lake was gorgeous.

For those of you in Spokane, it’s like Pig Out in the Park only with good food and real music.

For those of you in the Emerald City, I was going to compare it to Bite of Seattle, but that would be useless since you already believe the world revolves around your city. Oh, come on now. It was just a joke. Calm down, drink another grande-mocha-Frappucino and reboot your Windows-based PC. It just blue-screened.

Doh! My PC is freaking out after my latest Microsoft swipe. Here comes the blue screen.

Later!

Citizen Conway - 1 / Airport Police - 0

2006-06-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

PART I

I recently received a traffic infraction for Speeding (40 mph in a 20 mph zone) and Expired Vehicle License which totaled $274. After getting the infraction, I immediately wrote up a narrative because I knew I was going to contest the ticket. Below is my narrative: (I’ve replaced the officer’s name to protect his occupation)

- - -

I returned home on Friday evening from a week long business trip in Portland (May 1st – May 5th, 2006). After paying for my garage parking at the ATM station, I pulled through the gate and stopped at the stop sign. At that time, I put my credit card back into my wallet, put my wallet in my pocket and tucked the receipt away for my expense report. I then pulled out and headed home.

A white, marked Airport Police SUV raced up behind my car. I had just passed the 50 mph marker and the SUV was less then two car lengths behind me. I was in the left line and unsure if the SUV needed to pass me. I activated my turn signal and changed lanes. The emergency lights on the SUV immediately lit up. I pulled to the side of the road, stopped my car and waited for the officer to contact me.

Officer Knothead approached my car and asked for my driver’s license, registration and insurance.

Since he didn’t offer to explain why he stopped me, I asked Officer Knothead why he had stopped me. He stated that I failed to stop at the Stop sign when leaving the parking area. I told him I had stopped and delayed long enough to put my credit card back into my wallet.

He then asked, “Are you sure you stopped?” His voice and manner showed that he wasn’t sure of what he accused me of.He then said I was also driving 40 mph in a 20 mph zone. He asked me if I saw a 20 mph speed limit sign when I left the airport. I told him “no” and that I didn’t think I was doing 40 mph prior to the 50 mph sign.

I asked him why he was so close behind me without activating his lights. He said he needed to read my license plate.

I handed him my driver’s license and a vehicle registration slip that had expired. I had renewed my registration prior to going out of town but didn’t have the new paperwork. I also didn’t have a current insurance card in the car. I told him this, but explained I had current insurance.

Officer Knothead told me he could write me up for over $600 worth of traffic infractions and went back to his vehicle. (Side note, at this point a back-up officer arrived and stood outside my passenger door, watching every move I made. Their officer safety awareness was at a heightened level. I’m glad I was more important than watching the airport itself.)

When Officer Knothead returned to my car he said he waved the infraction for not having insurance. He said he was citing me for 40 mph in a 20 mph zone and an expired vehicle registration. At that point, he never mentioned his belief that I failed to stop for a stop sign.

I asked Officer Knothead if he ran my license plate through DOL and explained that I had sent in the renewal a couple weeks prior. He insisted he ran the plate and that DOL told him my vehicle license was expired.

I signed my ticket, knowing that it was not an admission of guilt. At that point Officer Knothead ended the contact.

When I returned home, there was a stack of mail that had accumulated while I was in Portland. In that stack was an envelope from the Spokane County Auditor’s office dated April 26. Inside the envelope was my new vehicle registration and license plate tab. If Officer Knothead had properly run my vehicle license through DOL, it would have shown my registration was renewed and that infraction not written.

Also in the stack of mall, was a letter from Progressive with my new insurance card.

I am unsure of how Officer Knothead judged my speed. I saw him approaching in my rear view mirror and I never decelerated because I didn’t feel he was looking to stop me. He was in a constant state of acceleration until we neared the 50 mph marker where I accelerated up to that speed. When he failed to reduce the distance between us, I moved out of the right lane to give him room to pass (which is what I thought he wanted). He immediately hit his lights and stopped me.

I am a former police officer with the Spokane Police Department (1999-2004). I left in good standing to pursue a career with a national property management company. My driving record has been clean since the late 1980s when I was in high school. I understand the need to obey all traffic laws for both public and personal safety. I am also extremely careful with my driving since my job depends heavily on road driving.

When Officer Knothead was behind my car, he could have immediately stopped me had he wanted. Based upon my history in law enforcement, I know Officer Knothead should have seen my license plate much earlier and initiated his traffic stop without hesitation. I believe he was less interested in stopping me for a weakly-based traffic infraction and fishing for either a suspended driver’s license or stolen vehicle, neither of which I had.

I did not see the traffic sign coming out of the Airport that Officer Knothead mentioned. I know I exceed 20 mph, but know I was not driving 40 mph. Unfortunately, I don’t have anyway to prove my speed. Since Officer Knothead was accelerating up to my car, I’m unsure how he could properly “pace” my vehicle to determine an exact my speed.

Due to the other errors, that have occurred during this traffic stop, I am asking to have this ticket removed from record.

PART II

Okay, so hopefully you’ve got a pretty good understanding of what happened. Well, you’ve got the understanding from my prospective and that’s all that really matters now, right?

Anyway, I went to court on Thursday to fight the ticket. I waited in the courtroom for thirty minutes for the judge to show up. During this time, I got to share the courtroom with a gaggle of interesting characters.

There was the dirt bag that wore the Confederate flag bandana over his head and complained about how cops are different in every city he’s lived. There was the mildly pudgy twenty-something in the hip-hugger jeans. When she sat down, her thong jumped of out the back of her jeans and struggled against her flesh. There was the mouth-breather up front who looked like he hadn’t eaten a meal in six months. Of course, he was seated with a woman who took up nearly two chairs. There was the young kid with fear in his eyes. His parents sat next to him, trying to reassure him that everything would be alright. There was the seventy-something gentleman by me who looked stunned to be in the courtroom.

The judge walked in, we (the accused) rose, he sat and then we sat. The judge was a nice guy with a sense of humor. He slipped in some jokes as he explained we had three options on how to handle our tickets. We could mitigate it (admit guilt and get an immediate 30% reduction on the ticket), meet with the prosecutor (hoping to reach a quick settlement) or contest the ticket with a trial. Most of us took the chance to meet with the prosecutor.

After handling the one person who requested mitigation, the judge excused himself from the courtroom and the prosecutor stood up. He explained the rules, in a clipped manner. He was no-nonsense and slightly egotistical (we can spot our own). He said that if our driving records were clean, he would offer us either a reduced fine or an expired vehicle license charge (non-moving infraction). If we didn’t agree, we could go to trial.

Two people were called to the prosecutor before me and my heart sank when I listened to him talk. He didn’t care about the individual’s story (which I’m sure he has heard before) and gave each of them a flat offer. Both parties took their deal and ran.

When it was my turn, I walked up and sat next to him. He pulled out my ticket which now had the expired vehicle license charge scratched out. It resembled something a second-grader would do to correct an error. The prosecutor looked at the ticket and stated “This ticket is a mess.”

I took the opportunity and explained what had happened with the vehicle license charge. I couldn’t hand him my narrative so I had only seconds to explain what was going on. He ignored me until I said that Officer Knothead lied when he said claimed to have run my plate through DOL. The prosecutor said, “Well, he ran it afterward so we don’t have to worry about it now.”

He then consulted his note sheet. Next to my name was the number $150. He had already determined what my rate reduction would be. “So how did he track your speed?” the prosecutor asked and flipped open the ticket to read the narrative.

As he read, I launched into my plea against the officer’s pace. I explained I wasn’t sure how Officer Knothead could pace me when he was in a constant state of acceleration. The prosecutor’s finger ran along the page as he read the narrative. Suddenly, he stopped, flipped over the ticket and reread the front of the infraction. His eyes shifted over to me, “Was this an airport cop?”

“Yeah,” I said with a nod.

The prosecutor dropped back in his seat and shook his head. He reread the ticket again and muttered, “They mean well, but they just don’t get it.” Then he explained the lack of explanation regarding his “pacing” my car. Officer Knothead wrote that he pulled in behind me and paced me at 40 mph. That was the extent of his explanation. No distance followed or distance between vehicles was mentioned. The narrative was weak and the prosecutor knew it.

He looked up with a smirk on his face and tossed the ticket to the other side of the table. “Have a nice day,” he said to me.

I stood up immediately and shook his hand. The courtroom was abuzz when he tossed the ticket. I’m sure there was a lot of false hope suddenly discovered in that room.

For me, I hope to see Officer Knothead at the airport sometime. I won’t say anything or do anything at all. Instead, I’ll just smile at him and remember the prosecutor’s words: “They mean well, but they just don’t get it.”

Eminem - Modern Day Cowboy

2006-06-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

File this under another bad movie idea.

It seems Eminem has signed to reprise the role of Paladin in Have Gun, Will Travel. This late 50s television western was a favorite of my father’s. I’m sure he’ll be excited to learn that Eminem will bring his boyhood favorite to the big screen. What untill he hears the soundtrack which Eminem is also supposed to be supplyiing. Whee!

Diet Coke meet Mentos

2006-06-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

You’ve gotta see this! Two guys have created the funniest video using Diet Coke, Mentos, creativty and science. Check out their webpage at www.eepybird.com

A Cruel World

2006-06-11T00:05:00.000-07:00

ACW was listed in Duotrope’s Digest.

Kiss Perfume

2006-06-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

I just read an article that KISS, the greatest rock band ever, is coming out with a line of perfume and cologne.

KISS is the all-time leader in self-promotion and merchandising, but perfume? Sheesh.

I’m sorry, but the last thing I want is a woman smelling anything like Paul Stanley after a long night on stage. Or worse, like she just spent four hours being balled by Gene Simmons.

This idea stinks (pun intended).

Flag Burning and English as the national language

2006-06-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

This is a two part rant, but it has the same general message: Get over it, people!

I believe burning a flag is NOT a threat to our way of life.

I believe burning a flag WILL NOT lead to the collapse over our country (I can name plenty of things that I believe will, though).

I WILL NEVER burn the flag, because I love what it stands for.

I believe flag burning IS an act of free speech that should not be criminalized.

I WOULD NEVER want the ability to burn our flag stripped away from us.

Right away, I’ve probably lost half of you out there and I’m okay with that. I’m exercising my right to free speech. You have the right to read on or ignore me. And for that right, I’m grateful.

As a quick background for those of you who don’t know me, I served four years in the active Army and was stationed in Germany during the first Gulf War. I spent five years as a police officer in Spokane, Washington. I love my country but don’t love everything she does within the world. I am proud of my country, but I don’t blindly believe that we aren’t protecting our oil interests in the Middle East through the current war.

While I was in the Army in the late 80s / early 90s, flag burning and a possible constitutional ban were on the front burner back as they are now. In Germany, I saw American soldiers walking around in small German villages with shirts splashed with the American flag with such witty phrases as “These colors don’t run” and “Try and burn this.” These soldiers would freak out that the flag was being burned by our own citizens. I tried to ask them if they understood that freedom of speech is part of what they were protecting.

For some reason, we live in an era when free speech is under attack if it offends someone else. Not one founding father promised us that we would be free from stupid or mean comments. But that is where we are headed in our society today. Censor it, deride it or bury it if any speech hurts someone’s feelings, offends someone’s religious beliefs or damages their self-esteem.

I caught a little bit of The People vs. Larry Flynt a couple days ago on television. I’ve never seen the movie before, but am now going to search it out and bring home a copy. The movie focused on Flynt, the founder of Hustler magazine and his battle against censorship.
In the movie Alan Isaacman, Flynt’s attorney, makes the following statement during his closing argument at a trail regarding Flynt’s publications:

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard a lot toady, and I’m not gonna go back over it, but you have to go into that room and make some decisions. But before you do, there’s something you need to know. I am not trying to suggest that you should like what Larry Flynt does. I don’t like what Larry Flynt does, but what I do like is the fact that I live in a country where you and I can make that decision for ourselves. I like the fact that I live in a country where I can pick up Hustler magazine and read it, or throw it in the garbage can if that’s where I think it belongs.

As American citizen’s, we have the right to decide what books to read or ignore, what music to listen to or ignore, what television programming to watch or ignore. If we take affront to some form of expression, then we have the right to challenge that expression and present a dissenting point of view. We should never give up a shred of our right to free expression. To do so would open the door for another group to push their desired censorship to the forefront. And it maybe something you actually enjoy. Remember, in the mid-80s Tipper Gore and the Parental Music Resource Center tried to illegalize certain types of music they found offensive. (The result was the cute Parental Advisory stickers which guaranteed an album higher sales).

Okay, now that I said my peace, let’s flip to the new battle over whether English should be our “official” language.

First, our country was built on immigrants. Secondly, new immigrants come to this country every day. Not all of them come here illegally. Many of them come here in search of a better life for them and their children. They want to work hard and try to achieve the American dream. They know well enough that they are going to have to learn English to become successful in this country. We don’t need to shove it down their throats with a constitutional declaration.

When I was in Germany, the citizens there appreciated my efforts to learn their language. When I stumbled over words while trying to communicate, they would switch to English (not always perfect) and helped reach an understanding. I experienced this in all of the other countries I was in while in Europe.

Why then is America so arrogant? Why do we demand people learn our language when no one ever demanded it of me when I was overseas? The arrogance with which we view our own lives is staggering.

We need to get over our self-love and realize we are part of a big world out there. Also, if we are going to demand foreigners learn to speak English, then we better damn well start insuring our children learn English. But that’s a subject for another time and another rant.

The New Bond

2006-05-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

When the producers of the James Bond franchise announced the next movie would feature a new Bond, I was extremely disappointed. Yeah, I’ve been a Bond fan boy for years. The guy always gets the girl, always wins and looks damn cool doing it.

Anyway, I really dug Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Hell, I’ve liked them all except Roger Moore in his later years, but Brosnan was money as Bond. I couldn’t believe they would let him go after his successful run as Bond.

Then they announced Daniel Craig was going to be the new Bond. Daniel who? I thought as did most of America no doubt. His getting the Bond role was the reason I checked out Layer Cake where Craig was a stud.

Well, the new teaser trailer is out for Casino Royale and I gotta say Craig looks like a bastard and that’s going to be great for Bond.

The movie is supposed to be Bond’s first double-0 mission and I’m glad they are basing it on Ian Fleming’s first novel. Woody Allen and Peter Sellers made a Bond parody called Casino Royale in the ‘60s. I’ve always hated the movie and am hoping this will erase that memory.

Okay, enough rambling. Go over and check out the new trailer. I’d love to hear what you think. Casino Royale

The Ex-Factor

2006-05-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

I received my offical letter of acceptance to The Ex-Factor, an upcoming anthology. They accepted my story “The Big Blonde”, a Jack Collins short story.

I’m very excited about the inclusion and look forward to seeing it in print. The release date is October 13th, 2006. Look forward it then.

Plastic surgery and movie stars

2006-05-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

Someone please stop the madness.

I just caught a new Miller Lite commercial featuring Burt Reynolds. The guy has had some of the worst plastic surgery I’ve seen. He looks constantly surprised and, well, plastic.

The same can be said for Kenny Rogers. His eye lift was so drastic it look like he doesn’t have eyelids anymore.

They are both one facial tuck away from looking like Joan Rivers.

What happened to the days when men were men? When I was a kid, I looked up to Burt. For Pete’s sake, he was Smokey and Hooper and Paul Crew (The Longest Yard). The guy was the epitome of cool. Of course, he fell into moderate obscurity for a bit, but he made a comeback and I was glad to see him again. But now he looks like he was worked on by the same knot head who changed Michael Jackson from a black man into a Puerto Rican woman. It’s just sad.

Sigh.

Ill-fitting Pieces in the Puzzle of Life

2006-05-07T07:55:00.002-07:00

My short story, “Ill-fitting Pieces in the Puzzle of Life,” is currently up at The Green Muse (formerly SaucyVox). It actually received a warning. I’m so stoked. It’s the second warning label one of my story’s have received ("Angel" was the first).

I wrote the Ill-fitting Pieces several years ago and was experimenting with transitional changes in the piece. Stop by and check it out. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

Ticket Out

2006-05-07T07:55:00.001-07:00

My short story, “Ticket Out” was accepted by Demolitions magazine. It will appear in either the Fall or Winter issue.

A Cruel World

2006-05-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

The new issue of A Cruel World is up! Make sure you stop by and check out the five new authors who’ve contributed to this month’s collection.

Frank's news

2006-04-27T13:30:00.000-07:00

Make sure you take a jump over to my friend, Frank ’s website.

He was one of seven authors to take part in an anthology related to the seven deadly sins. Check it out!

More 86th

2006-04-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, this just cracked me up. I jumped on to East of the Web web today to see if any new reviews had come in. There were a couple nice ones and then one that struck me as odd. Here they are:

Posted 2006-04-09 22:59:07

Great Story! You had me from the very first word until the last one had become an image in my mind that had gone black, as though I had been watching it all on film. Nice work. I do love your work! BC

Posted 2006-04-19 21:02:13

This one had me hooked from the beginning. It is a great descriptor of the two sides of people. Isn’t it amazing how people can change how they feel about you after one small incident? Makes you wonder who your real friends are. Very gripping and excellent descriptions. Had me thinking of American History X. Keep it up.

Posted 2006-04-24 03:47:22

i thought this story wasnt all that good. it didnt have much of a story to it and words were spelt wrong. i give this a 3 out of ten

The last post came in from left field. Don’t get me wrong, I am no way saying that this guy’s opinion is wrong. However after several months of good to great reviews, a suddenly poor review just seems like sour grapes. I have to think it came from someone whose work I recently passed on at ACW. As for mispelling words, I would suggest the anonymous reviewer not throw stones in a glass house.

Weird.

By the way, the second comment was also the second comment on the story to mention American History X. I’ve only seen part of that movie on edited television (TNT or TBS or something like that), so I’m surprised they mention the curb stomp.

The original story germinated from a story my dad told me about a friend he met while in the Navy during Viet Nam. The friend told my dad about running with a gang that would curb stomp guys if they didn’t fight back. I remember being shocked in high school when he told me that. It hung around until I put it on paper.

Editing

2006-04-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

I battled a headache most of yesterday but still fought through some editing for Dog Town. In my life, I’ve tended to be obsessive about certain things and I know I’m doing that right now with this story. I skipped working out at the gym most of the last two weeks to finish the story and begin editing it. This morning, I woke up and had every intention of working out (or at least running). That intention quickly disappeared when I sat down to continue making the corrections I red-penned this weekend.

Here’s an interesting side note (well, at least to me) about the editing process. When I’m writing a story, I seem to fall into a trap of using the same conventinos all the way through. In Running In Circles for example, I used things like I felt, I saw, I heard way more than I ever should have. It took me a while to cut that crap out and tighten up the story.

In Dog Town, Jack Collins spends a lot of time downtown and walking places. For some reason, this has led me to use a million walking references through-out the story. In rereading the story, it almost feels like stage directions for a play. I’ve had to spend a lot of time cutting out the garbage to make the story flow better. Hopefully, it will.

Well, the clock is screaming at me to get a shower and go to work. Or at least the job that is currently paying the bills.

Happy Monday.

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man

2006-04-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

I just finished a very thought-provoking book, Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins.
Here’s the premise of the book:

U.S. Corporations fueled primarily by oil interests strive to gain footholds in countries and territories not owned by the U.S. To do this, they use consulting corporations and “economic hit men” to create overly-optimistic growth forecasts. Economic hit men are responsible for the forecasting.

These forecasts are based upon items such as power plants and energy networks and the resulting industries such as maintenance, transportation, waste disposal, etc. The corporations get these forecasts into the hands of government officials or those in control of their target country. Then the corporations start the process of making their targets believe that these forecasts will result in increased GDP (Gross Domestic Product) for their country and an increase in the standard of living for their people.

When they accept these proposals, U.S. Banks (including the World Bank) make loans to these countries to begin building the infrastructure necessary to meet these lofty forecasts. Of course, the money loaned to those countries comes back to the U.S. in contracts for major consulting / engineering / construction firms.

The names of these firms include Enron, Bechtel, Halliburton and MAIN (now-defunct and the company that previously employed the author).

The debt load on these small countries becomes such a weight to bear that more and more of their natural resources are expended to continue to make payments. When the payments stop or fail to make the minimum, the corporations or the government itself slides in and demands its pound of flesh in political support, oil rights, etc.

As I started the book, I thought that it might be full of hyperbole, but I found none of that. Instead, I found thought-provoking passages and the revealing of certain business tactics that I only thought existed in the movies.

The book talked about how certain men move from leadership positions in these powerful firms into the upper reaches of government and back again. The political affiliation of the current president means little in real life because the corporations remain and continue to grow. Dick Cheney is the former CEO of Halliburton and we’ve all heard about the contracts given to Halliburton during the war in Iraq. The Bush family is also tied in very tightly with the oil corporations and the Family of Saud. The book continues to draw the lines from the author’s own experiences to names I’ve heard in the news through my entire life (I’m currently 37).

It was a scary read because it reveals that the practices of creating these inflated forecasts actually increase poverty and over/un-employment. The countries we move into in order to secure access to their resources (whether outright or through trade agreements) often end up resenting / hating us. The upper echelon, with the power and wealth they’ve “earned” through their relations with our corporations, love us but grow further and further away from their own people.

The book stays away from singling out a single political party behind this trend towards corporations building their global empires. I have to admit I found it refreshing because if it fell back to the “Republicans bad, Democrats good” argument I would have immediately dropped the book. Instead, the author clearly says everyone is at fault. Some more than others, but we all need to read between the lines of the news that that the media conglomerates are spitting out. They often hold interests or are held by interests that stand to gain in these situations.

The author never decries our country or capitalism. What he says is that we’ve allowed our founding fathers’ vision to be corrupted by only applying it to U.S. citizens. Everyone else is cannon fodder for our machine. We need to change that. We need to take the great vision of our forefathers and apply it to everyone. Let everyone have the opportunity (not the guarantee, mind you) of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

I hope you’ll take the time to read this book. It certainly has made me stop and think.

86th Street latest reviews

2006-04-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

I just checked out East of the Web and my short story, “86th Street and the Summer of Love”, received some more reader reviews. Here is the latest batch:

Posted 2006-02-08 15:44:06

I thought oh my god... I think you should make it a book with lots of chapters - I think you know these characters well, does anything from your real experience? John.

Posted 2006-02-10 14:31:31

the best story ive read in 3 years

Posted 2006-02-15 11:05:13

I really enjoyed reading this story. it was very true to life and touching all at the same time.

Posted 2006-02-18 17:04:30

Well Written with some very good scenes and real characters. However, I thought the author went overboard, almost apologizing for saying Terrance was black, almost a complete moral digression.

I also felt the high impact scene, open mouth against curb, was straight from the film ‘American History X’

Posted 2006-02-18 18:33:56

the story is awsome!!!!!!!i loved it!! it captured so many diffrent emotions........it inspierd me big time! colin is a great writter i cant wait to read more storys from him =)

Posted 2006-03-02 13:09:01

great story very supenceful and i love the irony

Posted 2006-03-08 13:46:41

that was a wonderfull stoy it makes me think. but at the same time its was sad.

Posted 2006-03-08 13:47:56

THIS WAS A GREAT STORY I LIKE YOUR VOCAB

Posted 2006-03-14 02:24:26

it was very raw. it wasn’t beautiful and it wasnt touching but in a sense, something about it made it very real. simply raw. i liked it. it was a story and the author told the story as it was.

Posted 2006-03-15 15:01:22

Gripping tale. But it would have worked better for me if the narrator had got his teeth kicked out at the end instead of just beating them all up. His “winning” this fight kind of ruins the whole theme of the piece for me, as much as I enjoyed his having done so.

Posted 2006-03-25 20:23:24

cool

Posted 2006-04-03 10:09:41

I just kept reading it over and over because it was so good! some thing that really inspired me, thanks mate !!

Posted 2006-04-06 19:29:23

This story had a good message hidden inside it’s rough exterior. I found that the story had enough action to be a good story. Some of the story was kind of slow, but most of all it was good.

Lucky # Slevin

2006-04-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

I went and saw the movie, Lucky # Slevin. It’s a great film even if the marketing idiots out there are trying to spoil the film. I saw an early film preview and knew that I wanted to see it immediately since it’s a crime noir movie. Anyway, after seeing the movie I returned home flicked on the television and saw a commercial for the movie that gave away a substantial portion of the movie. If you want to see this movie, get to the movie theater and ignore your television.

I’m not going to go into detail about this movie because I don’t want to give any parts away. I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did.